Time for Agonizing Reappraisal
So I haven’t been the best blog
person on here for the last couple of months, or as far as that is concerned
for the last 5 months. Sad I spent a lot of wasted time I could have been
writing but just couldn’t force myself to get back into the swing. It seemed as
if I was rehashing the same old things, that I lacked imagination to bring
something new to the table. I was lacking and slacking in a lot of ways. Most
of the time I have no idea what I am going to write till the hour before I
write it and I just kind throw an outline in my head , digest a few and spit it
out in the form of a blog. I try to stick to the subject I choose, but some
days that is hard or I am searching for enough to fill out what I think is an
appreciable amount of substantial reading.
We all fail to
some degree and mostly within our self. No one told me my work was suffering
yet I read this as much as I write, you have too as an author. You are your own
worse critic above and beyond anyone else. I guess it is all how you deal with
the problem you lay at your own feet, and where you go from there. I choose to
move on as the title of my blog goes. I would watch as daily on my blog,
without me even writing anything new over that time, I had amassed enough good writings
to keep people involved to the tune of 10 visitors per day whether I wrote or
not. I have a counter that tracks all the times people hit on my site, and
never once in all that time did I go flat or have zero hits on any one day. That
is kind of amazing in a way. this told me I needed to get busy and get back
after my writing. I am at 37, 660 hits and when I do write can bring in 25 hits
/ day. It isn’t the numbers but the fact that when I write people do take the
time to listen and I appreciate that. I feel I have been letting those people
down when I haven’t produced anything for such a long time.
all the above pics are from Charleston area where Lucy and i went on vacation earlier this year.
It doesn’t cost
anything but time and I have to pay for that anyhow, so I may as well get my money’s
worth. What the purpose of my writing is I still have to wonder, I guess it is
a chance for someone else my age to see how warped I am , or maybe follow me in
a transition to Alzheimer’s, if that
shall be the case. One never knows what the purpose is or if there is ever one.
But hopefully if nothing else I can make someone smile, another laugh, and
maybe even coach a tear out of another’s eye, then I shall feel like my effort
was never in vain, or self-centered.
To that end I move
on. I took a trip to Charleston, South Carolina with my friend Lucy and that
was probably the first planned trip I ever made where I had a hand in deciding
what I was going to do. My back killed me and we planned pretty full days at
times. We had some laughs; in fact we had quite a few. But both of us were beat
by the time we returned to the motel. I guess to fully appreciate some of what
we had seen we should have taken more time. Although I don’t have animals that
require me to back home every day, I still missed my dog Babe the most. I think
Lucy has the same problem also.
I started
feeling guilty after leaving and never fully felt comfortable at any time
knowing this dog is never more than 40 feet away from me any time she can be. At
times that can be a pain in the ass, especially when she is giving me crap over
the littlest thing, still it is like a kid you have to love them warts and all.
Anyhow in reflection about that, I would like to take babe on a vacation sometime,
besides the trips to Mc Donalds. It would be nice to take off and go for a week
and enjoy the trip and take your animal along and not worry if the trip went
long or it took another day or week or two. As long as you are safe and
comfortable what would be the difference. I think sometime in the future I would
love to have a pickup set up with a camper in the bed and a small stove and
refrigerated cooler, and a portable shower where one could take off in the
summer and enjoy a week or two travelling and seeing the sights around the
country. Nothing fancy, but enough to survive and see the sights. Do some gold
panning in Colorado, see the sequoias, and swim in the Pacific, at least once
in my lifetime. I could take along my chainsaw and carve my way around the
country. You can almost always find a piece of wood somewhere to carve on , if
not head to Lowes and glue a bunch of 2x4’s together. When I get tired come
home and appreciate all I have, including whatever time I have with my dog.
In the coming
days I will cover aspects of my life I have made observations on, and how it
may relate to things I wrote in the past.
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