2-21-2012- ch-ch- changes
this is my backyard , so it is a little bit bigger than most peoples backyard it has undergone a major transformation over the years . at one time it was a pig pen , complete w/ a hog house and a hog wallow, which we kept wet so the hogs would be able to keep cool. we actually raised quite a few hogs here on pasture for what it was worth as it was always tore up from the hogs rooting . we would give them coal to keep them from rooting as we were told they were looking for something besides food , the coal would disappear and so now the hogs have disappeared also. unfortunately i am not a good farmer as i care way to much for the animals and treat way to well. i know there is nothing wrong with that until you get ready to send them to a butcher shop or imminent death through a sale barn . i always feel like i was cheating them . at other times i feel like i did my best to make their lives as comfortable as i could while they were here. as if this was going to give me solace and peace even now .
well i am every bit as redneck as the next guy but somewhere got a heart , never was a hunter , but went along with it as it was a ritual i enjoyed a lot except the killing part. once they were dead i could get over it enough to allow myself to clean the game we acquired that day. i would shoot at stuff but at same time would close my eyes as i shot as if this would stop the killing. well that just about scared the hell out of everyone with me , when we were out. gradually i become more accustomed to the gun shot and remember going hunting to West Virginia with my brother and dad on dad's old home place. we were squirrel hunting and dad was a stickler for making sure you made no noise while walking through he woods , sneaking up on the squirrels ws something he thought you could do. so you followed in his footsteps doing as he did , well dad and Jim had each nabbed a squirrel as Jim and i split off from dad as we climbed higher into the mountain , and then Jim split off from me and headed up the other side of a ravine till i lost sight of him and dad both. i was determined to get myself a squirrel i sat myself down on a log and was quiet and looking about as intently as i could.
suddenly off in the distance i see a squirrel tail poking around a tree , first on one side then the other , never quite coming out to where i could get a clear shot and i was ready, i had the gun shouldered and safety was off as my heart raced as i my finger eased onto the trigger determined to get it right this time. and i see the squirrel easing out closer to me on the side of the tree i aimed and as dad always told us took a second look before i squeezed the trigger, and the next second my brother comes out from behind the tree with the squirrel in his hand . i just about died , and dropped the barrel down and was instantly pissed at the ignorance of my brother. really don't know if he was just messing with me or if he was just innocently admiring his squirrel, but why play with it like that. don't know . never asked him . dont care . never went hunting much after that . the though of squeezing a round into my brother was to much for me. from then on i was apprehensive about hunting , and just went along for the fun , never really caring much if i achieved anything more than time out with friends .
i lived in southern Ohio for a time in my life and friends would come to visit me there primarily to go hunting and fishing and of course the drinking associated with the parties we threw back then . guns and beer as well as water and beer always make for some interesting combinations . it is a wonder no one was killed .seems as if something was wrong with you if you didn't hunt , fish and drink growing up. well that mostly came to an end when i quit drinking for my own good years back. suddenly i wasn't asked to do a lot of things, and it was partially due to my quitting drinking. and for me it was just as well as i really didnt like to hunt , so there was no big loss , except maybe for a few so called friends who thought i could help them justify their bad habits by imbibing in the spirits. don't miss the headaches , from hangovers , the empty feeling in the bottom of my pocket as i now had to figure out how i was going to make it the rest of the week on nothing , but least of all i don't miss them if they were that shallow to think i was weak.
as i went along for quite a few years not drinking and not hunting , i came to a point where i began to hate hunting , partially due to the fact i had numerous encounters with hunters that would walk to my grandmas door with guns on their shoulders and ask permission to hunt. a growing distaste with the new hunting crowd of today has grown from encounters such as those. there is a new crowd of people out there that have very little respect for landowners and their game. to me that deer is beef on the hoof if i need it. i don't need it , so i choose not to hunt. that is my right . but today's hunter wants to question why i don't allow him to . it not his property or his choice to make it is mine . i don't tell other people what to do with their land , so please leave me alone and our property alone.
so this life is all about changes , instead of going with the flow i went my own way, may not be the best way but it is something i can live with. i look in my backyard and watch the squirrels come and play. babe watches them too. but never stands a chance getting any as they are well to aware of her and disappear up a tree at first chance. life is a beautiful thing and seeing it flourish is a good thing i hope i can see for some time yet.
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