trip to sequoia

ch.8

trip to sequoia

ann

         lee dropped ann off at her apartment  spent a few minutes carrying her bags in and saying goodbye to ann kissing passionately until he had to practically pull himself away from her. it was getting harder for each to be away from each other. one would think they wee in love as if people do that nowadays. . ann was a spendthrift . lee referred to it as miserly bordering on scgroooginess, with a touch of penny pinching thrown in. ann's apartment was modest at best and yet amply furnished with homey country things she picked up at this flea market or yard sale that she  happened on to along that day. she was constantly searching for that one thing that would fill a corner or an open space in her 2 story walk up apartment. she rented the first floor to an elderly couple who were trying to cut down their maintenance responsibilities and sold their home in the country. ann was responsible for the maintenance, and in return they watched anns apartment when she wasn't there.
        ann would rather be with lee but she tried staying in the same house as lee and his dad , she could do it only for a few days , but after that she had to come home .  his dad was scaring her more daily with his actions . he would say stupid hurtful things to lee and at times would just walk around buck naked scratching his parts acting like she was invisible to him.. sometimes it was that he really didn't care if anyone was there and that he  just wasn't there. a body standing naked in the living room wondering what the heck is going on or maybe not.  anyway you go, it wasn't a pretty picture and a little hard to take. but lee was doing his best to keep his dad out of the nursing home. partly because he couldn't afford it , and he was hoping in the end that his dad would just die in his sleep. but it looked as if that day was a while off . it looked as if the farm would sell first and lee would be forced to do something else with his life besides farm. he hated selling the farm to pay the nursing home but it appeared his dads social security would never cover the cost of the nursing home care. and they had numerous hospital bills from where lee's mom had cancer that were still; unpaid. lee had no choice but to quit farming . when all the bills were paid they would be lucky to see any money for the farm. 30 years farming for lee and 50 for his dad working on this same farm and nothing to show for it except bills. so much for feeding the nation when all they want to do is eat up your assets in the end. all that you have accumulated through your hard work over the years.
       she offered to help lee but he refused . there were other brothers and sisters to share in his misery, except to care for his father. they would rather let him go to the nursing home first since the farm was gone anyhow . the chance of money gone  they would  just as soon let someone like lee or hired help take care of dad then do it them selves.
      anns family was different. the gunnites had everything they ever wanted , and i guess that may be why ann has a problem with lee because he refuses her help and ultimately her family's help because whenever she does something for lee, then her family must approve because her money is theirs also. everything is paid out of the trust her parents set up prior to their horrible death in a private plane over west virginia years ago. she was raised by her uncle and aunt till she went to college in 86 where she studied business administration.
      she returned home from ohio university in athens with a mba and went back to work in the family business already being run her older brothers. they set her up in the new philadelphia office, where they poured money and resources into it  to expand the companies tracking of job orders at multiple businesses under the umbrella of the gunnite corp.. a national corporation with its roots in the mining industry. something she wasn't to proud of but then she as well as everyone had bills to pay. she was no exception as she gladly cashed her trust fund disbursement check monthly and put money away for her and lee later in life. whether lee liked it or not.
       her position was more of a watchdog office who was responsible for profit loss of all businesses under the corporate name of gunnite corp.. this could include environmental firms doing remedial cleanup of hazardous chemical spills. a registered hazmat service company who gunnite would call for all their own spills . if anything happened in any of the companies then she would hear about it and prepare a weekly report for the board meetings weekly. if someone filed a workmen s comp claim her office would be contacted first and then ann. annn would take it under advisement and notify all members of the board and administration to what the emergency was , and then appropriately the company would issue a statement regarding the emergency ann would ultimately review the statement and would approve or reject the message, based on its merits. she was the gestapo of the office and some in the office felt she too much power and crippled the company with her views. ann took on whole new persona of a women at work as she took control and lead the company.it was input that controlled the companies direction. the shareholders would object to her recommendations but she still prevailed most of the time. her brothers relied heavily on her opinion and usually consulted with her before weekly board meetings to assure management was up on issues as they needed to be.
        when her dad and mom crashed in the plane , her father had managed to squirrel away 36 million into a trust fund and it was up to family members to learn to live off there profits or interest earned on trust money. they could never allow it to drop below the 36 mark but could instead increase the fund to what ever they wanted  from company profits for their shares involved. now they 567 million in the account  paying out 37 million equally to 22 relatives for 1.68 million apiece . the immediate family members were paid no larger a share than other family members . all were devoted and contributed to the company's success. pierce gunnite ,wasn't your ordinary person, a large man with swaggering ways . he would stride into the room bursting with self confidence evidenced by the shit eating grin spread all over his face. as if to say i know something you don't. and he usually did.   ( cont. on next blog)

16.

trip to sequoia

ch.7 

its my party cont. 

  

       we stepped into a dingy bar that was long and narrow with the bar on the left, and tables and booths on the right. i went about midways and found an empty booth we could all crowd into. it was fairly busy with a mostly local crowd i assumed, as i scanned the faces, as if after all these years i might look and recognize a familiar face. ann sat next to lee and smiled a wide cute smile as if she approved of the choice. the jukebox was crying lonely hearts and pickup trucks as the country music blasted its way through the bar assuring that nary a crevice or crack would suffer no less vibration or reverberation than the other. lee tried to say something but i had to lean across the table to hear what it was. as i leaned over he yells, 

      " the music is to damn loud ,"

      " hope it is just this song" i yelled as i continued " you know what you get when you play a country song backwards dont you?'

     they both nodded as if they didnt know,then i continued," you get your wife back your dog back and you get your kids back." they both laughed hard and lee on the outside of the booth stood and asked what it was we wanted to drink, of course my standard answer of coke as it serves me well. ann wanted a margarita. when we were here before they managed to come up with one. but that was a couple of years ago and this really didnt look like a margarita crowd. a mix of redneck and some city folk who at times seem to blend in ,  few bikers and their women were also in attendance , but due to the lack of flip flops in their i saw very little margarita drinkers , but then again it was winter. i told lee to go ahead and try anyhow. lee delivered the order to the bartender who looked at lee like he was nuts but soon banging and bitching was heard.and soon lee returned with a can of coke and two large fishbowl glasses of frothy margaritas with large salt crystals clinging to the side. i could smell the rum as  he passed it over the table to the giddy ann who was patiently sitting there taking everything in . we talked and soon lee was headed back to the bar to grab another. 

      ann heard a slow song and asked lee to dance. he jumped up to dance with her . he enjoyed slow dancing with her , feeling her body pressed close to him. the sond ended  then they played the song' betty davis eyes' and memories of this bar flooded back to my mind as i thought it was ironic, how you associate some tunes with times and places in your life . this was one of them as someone long ago always played this tune when i was drinking in this bar  and it just stuck with me. i looked under the booth in my 'deja vu' moment to see if my dog tuck was still waiting on me . he wasn't,  but at times i wish he was. i cant recall any woman i would say was in my life at that time that made the song special but instead it was like it is now i was single and alone when i lived here and probably didn't deserve anyone as i was a drunk at best. . lee and ann returned to the table and snapped me out of my nostalgic trip to nowheresville thankfully. 

    lee's blue eyes were shining as he stared at ann so adoringly. these two were inseparable now that they were an item. they were younger than i by about 10 years but we still had a lot in common with each other and our range of topics were always changing. tonight was not an intellectual night though. it wasn't time to discuss the fine points of solar technology or talk about how to limit the number of handguns available or greenhouse gasses. it was about just enjoying being alive and they were,  

     ann was my ideal woman if i had one as i have came to know her over the years . she has grew on me, too much at times. lee knows if something happened to him that ann would be alright in the comfort of my company and this pleased him as he had full confidence in me as a friend to never cross the line while he was alive and i wouldn't . it is tough i admit at times to watch ann in my life and not want for her to be more . but my friendship with lee does not permit me to do so. 

     ann's lithe thin body was well muscled for her age

     her blonde yet easily admitted dyed hair hung to her shoulders and framed her young looking face. ann was heading up to the big fifty year mark in her life and yet she only looked thirty five. she reminded me of a woman i met in college years ago named sherry. sherry and i had a great time and was probably the reason i didn't do well in college the second time around . she and i would party and jut sit around and b-s the day away when we had the chance. i was still married but had decided to divorce . although the divorce was part of me changing my lifestyle it was also part hope that me and sherry could be together more. she was not only sophistication but a lot of fun and sexy mixed in. it seemed as if she knew me. we had never made love but it wasn't for me not wanting it to happen as she teased me frequently. but i never crossed the line although i had wanted to. sherry had better things in store for her as she was a brain who worked for a major national corporation doing defense work at an arsenal nearby collecting a paycheck and returning back to college. she didn't have much time for a wonder struck farm boy like me,and she moved on as people do in your life but she will always have a place in my heart.  the one ghat got away. at times i think she should have run as fast as she could. if i coulda, woulda, shoulda, and maybe, come to mind when i think of her. ann was just like her only younger. both were sexy. again this is  part of my connection with ann and lee in my life. at times i want no one except just one person to share my life with. adam doesn't  know what he had in eve or  the apple would never have tempted him. i want my eve . i deserve that one person i want to grow old with. unfortunately i realize ann isn't her. and never will be. sherry is gone and i am siting in marietta on front street in  a bar when i don't drink. reality sucks. memory lane sucks when you could care lees to make the trip down it. 

      i suggested we move on as i was thinking  to much here as the music blared away so loud you couldn't talkanyhow. we left the bar and headed down the street to the next happening. the air was brisk and stinging as a cold front had settled in over the area . the stars shined bright in the clear air at least from what i could see over the glow of streetlights. traffic was busy and we stopped by a park and sat on a bench and talked  few about the bartender at jim and jimmy's as he was a strange one . in fact i failed to leave my usual business card there on purpose as i really enjoyed the bar but would rather leave it there. so i can visit again , say in another ten years. it had changed little over the years. and much to my surprise as i was told, i guess jimmy was still alive at 94. he as a big man like i was but i would hate to see what he looks like now.his wracked body would foretell my fate in my later years. i can wait.  

      we laughed compared notes and smoked a fatty between us, as we walked through the park and gazed down on the rivers both of them the ohio and the muskingum . we were at the confluence of both and could see both well from the park. having recharged our happy batteries we headed on down the road to the next bar. things were a lot different at the next bar as it used o be a disco house when i lived on front street. i can remember this disc jockey woman who allowed me to play records and dj during the slow times of the day. i treid some acid with her  during my one and only visit with tripping. 

     we had taken a hit and was sitting on the end of a railroad track suspended over the muskingum river. to the left is the ohio river where the muskingum dumped into. we sat there dangling our legs high in the air looking down at the water rolling by. the river is wide there and this railroad bridge had a big turning bridge that would turn in the middle of the river to let boats pass by.it was turned crosswise as trains no longer used the route. the mechanisms for turning the bridge rusty and unusable but the structure remained.  we sat where the rails ended and the air began thirty feet in  the air. we were laughing and smoking a doobie. rhea was a nice lady but i was just not into her . but we had fun though and she would treat me to her stash and this was part of it. it was great and we were buzzing, while we were talking  this huge 5 foot catfish with a head like a basketball blew through the surface from down below , right up towards us as we were sitting on the end of the bridge thirty feet in the air as if to steal the joint from our lips and take a toke when he rolled slightly to the left as momentum was dragging him down he flopped on over on his side exposing his whole 5 foot length just briefly on the water till gravity pulled him under and laft a wave of ripples . the spray off his body left rainbows of light that danced on our imagination and sent streams of color forever embedded in my mind. what a trip. it was crazy . the catfish acted almost on cue . as if someone was messing with our heads. 

   this was the disco palace , which is now just a bar and restaurant . we sat at a table and discussed coming projects i needed to have help from lee with.the music was lower so we could at least talk.  ann slipped to the bar and had the wait staff bring us a cupcake and sang happy birthday to us. we laughed and then someone asked how old i was and i returned " now you have to go and spoil all the fun don't you?'" everyone laughed. 

    we returned home and we all slept in in the morning and  i managed breakfast for them the next day. we had a good visit and discussed the up coming sequoia trip with them finally leaving on may 1st.. ann had a smile on her face while lee was telling me how they are able to climb trees with ease now with their new equipment . the van was ready , the essentials were packed . all seem to be ready to finally get out and hit the road. soon it was time for them to depart. the van was returned to my garage and we said our goodbyes as i hugged ann, and shook lee's hand , then  they departed in the old f-150.

    loneliness was never a friend of mine but at times like this, it seemed to accompany me, watching  them drive away.  i will scare it away soon  and will be alright again,

15.

trip to sequoia

ch. 7 

(its my party cont. )

        

     around 7 i texted lee i was ready to leave. the river was starting to freeze in and we were stating to see some submerged trees as well as floating tires and propane tanks as the water started to intensify from recent heavy rains that blanketed  the area. now it was turning cold. my pontoon was up on land and was covered against the harsh ohio winter. i thought to myself dang , how nice it would be take a leisurely trip down the river as cold as it is.pontoons are not known for their speed, so best you will get is a slow fast ride. still i would much rather go by boat as early settlers did only i am not going to row either. so it was out to the garage and i grabbed the old vw van as this qualified as a chance to check it out since the remodel job. 

       ann came out of the guest house and met me on the walk to the garage. we walked past statues i carved and we talked about tonight and what we were going to do. we entered the garage and in the corner was the old vw van . looking much better with a paint job and sounding much better with the engine job. lee and ann did a great job reforming the old van. and i told them so and i was not about to let anything happen to it. it was lee who suggested we take it as they had planned on sitting in the bench seat behind the driver. of course that would be me. all i can say to them is i hope you guys have any dirty deeds thoroughly planned for the little house when you come home tonight. lee chimes  back as we start to get in the van "dont worry about us old man just drive" i laughed and faked a stroke as we headed down 60 to matietta. they laughed nervously.
      the old vw van sounded like george jetsons briefcase spacemobile as the new muffler whispered into the cold night. propelling us past my old memories where my family used to have river lots years ago. a wide spot on the turn below coal run indicated the spot where we  would dive over the edge with our cars and land at wide grassy shaded  spot on the river overhung with huge sycamores. it could hardly be seen from the road , and yet the traffic noise constantly reminded you it was there. you would have enough room to turn you car around and sometimes you didnt. i can remember my dad on occasion nearly ended up in the river due to slick grass and one time due to much drainage from a slick bottle . he slept off that one and finally made it out to get a tow truck to pull himself out. i spent many a night at that lot sitting on the river bank and listening to the big cats flop on the water. it sounded as if someone had taken a log an threw it in the river. from this lot we would take the boat and head up stream or down , fishing and putting in trout lines. dad landed a 43 pound catfish from this spot on a trout line he had set out. its head was the size of the bottom of a five gallon bucket and over five foot in length. dad is gone along with the river lots as we were just renting them ,  but the memories remain.
      this i also where i was arrested one time for not paying fines after i set up a yard sale to make a few bucks when a detective from washington co, stopped looking for stolen items and asked who i was and then ran my license although i was doing  nothing wrong, he found out i had not paid a dui ticket and arrested me for non payment of a fine and took me to jail.  i had a family that i was trying to feed and had my stepsons there to witness me being placed in handcuffs and stuffed in  cruiser. i managed to get out of jail a day later after i talked to the judge and promised to make restitution as soon as possible. oh the memories this particular stretch of highway carried for me. flat tires , broke down vehicles and places i lived and people i met flood to my mind every time i drive down this stretch of roadway.
      ann and lee had started partying in the back of the van as they started to sing along to old tunes playing on the radio as they were smoking a doobie. trying to offer it to me as i was driving. i refused to smoke as i needed to keep my stuff  together in the event we were stopped. over the long hill and into marietta we went . windows open to keep the smell of the pot from permeating the interior of he van. it was cold but necessary reminder to be vigilant in the face of being pulled over by the law.
      on the flat stretch heading into marietta surfaced another particularly ugly memory of the night my family and i became ill from food poisoning and was on our way to the hospital when we had to stop for a puke break alongside the road. a state highway patrolman pulled in behind us. my plates were expired and i was driving on a suspended license , and everyone was sick and yakking. the state highway patrolman was sympathetic and allowed my ex-wife to drive us on to the hospital after we had things under control from  all the sickness. was thankful he didn't arrest me but figured he just didn't want or like to smell puke in his car. the food poisoning was from a grocer located along that same road. if there was ever a memory lane then this at times was my bad memory lane.
      we headed to the strip of restaurants that flanked rt.7 heading out of town east and found a steakhouse to grab a\ bite at before heading down town to have fun. ann had thought i was going to surprise lee with a complimentary birthday cupcake and a song from the waiters clapping and singing in procession to our table. but instead i told them it was anns birthday and they started singing to her as lee and myself just laughed at how funny that was. ann red faced, but a trooper swore she would get me for that one , but still never let on to the restaurant staff any different idea it wasn't. having ate we made our way downtown to let the partying begin.
     "where first ?"i asked ann and lee .
    " lets head to that jim and jimmy's bar on front street, we always have a blast in there." lee said and ann  added .
     " its okay with me also. so how did you find out about this bar again? "
      " well i was kinda feeling a little blue and down on my luck as i was drinking way to much and ended up in jim and jimmy's bar . jim the owner was a golden gloves champ who owned the bar and named it for himself and his son. i believe  jim would be gone by now as he was older in his late 40's when i was 22 , he would be pushing 90 but doubt that would be the case as much as him pushing daisies by now. but still he was a great guy and offered me a room to rent on his third floor. well the last thing an alcoholic needs is a third floor room above a bar for sure. but i also had my dog . now jimmy liked tuck real well as tuck never barked hardly. he was a strong german shepherd -elkhound mix. his tail curled up over his back nd he had brownish red coat that shined .he was a constant loyal companion to me at times watching over me like an angel over the fallen as i lay in a drunken stupor. he  loved to hunt, and could hold his own in a fight. well jimmy would allow old tuck to come in the bar and just hangout under the booths. at that time he was allowed in 5 bars in downtown marietta, as it seemed this stupid drunk owner of his,  being me,thought it was cool to drag your dog all over town like it was nothing. never had a leash on him and he was well trained to say the least. he was the best. he would sit and wait on you without a leash for hours on end. all you had to do was point and say 'stay' and he was there till you came back. and sometimes i didn't . i would have to send people to pick him up. once i sent a taxicab t pick him up when i was still married to my first wife. the taxicab driver pulled up in front of the house and tuck ran and went for the open door of the cab when the babysitter told him to go as people kept asking where he was. he arrived at the bar and when the cab driver opened the door cheers from over 20 bar patrons clapped his arrival.  as he had become a star for his ability to be controlled. he was the ultimate dog and i had him. this is why jimmy rent me a room . he felt sorry for my dog. old tuck couldn't help it that i was a drunk. "
       " there is no way you could have been that bad. "said lee.
       " you didn't know me then , i had moved to marietta because i was partying to much and becoming more like my real dad . a drunk who had nothing and died with nothing. he had  no one to say a thing at his funeral despite military honors for time served in world war 2. he was nothing but a sperm donor to me and kind of feel the same way now as i did then. i have made peace with myself as i have forgave him. this is who i was fast becoming. i needed to stop and would have fleeting moments of sensibility where i would seem to be making progress and finding direction but i was still binge drinking myself to an early grave after a slow walk through hell. so anyhow i stayed up there for about 4 mos . till i found my first and only wife in a bar.she too liked my dog. well it seemed as if i should have owned a bar instead,as my life revolved around bars. i would have been rich. i thought all the time the only friends i had were in bars. well it was killing me slowly and eventually it caught up with me. i finally managed to give it the slip but it was hard. now i can go to bars and it doesn't really bother me much. life is a matter of choices and mine was to live or die. and chose to live. so drinking is over for me. " then i pulled into the parking lot at jim and jimmys and turned off the engine and said to them ,"lets head in what do you say?"
         lee said ," lets go. "
        and with that the swoosh of the side door opened into a brisk cold night, swirling vapors from our mouths as the rose up into the streams of streetlight coming down from above and made it appear  as if one was steaming. we headed inside over the fresh wet snow, being careful not to slip. we opened the door.( to be cont. )

       

14.

ch.7

 its my party

        lee and ann pulled up in lee's old f-150 pickup truck to my house . . the old vw. van was being stored in my garage and kept ready for the trip, as the snow was just beginning to stick to the pavement making driving hazardous. . ann didnt care that lee's finances and his old f-150  were limited as farming isn't the best provider at times. there are always things you could sell if you needed money but then you would just have to buy them back later when the price was higher so lee just tried to make do with what he had.since his dad  was getting senile due to old age and Alzheimers. putting him in a retirement home would be the end of the farm as lee was struggling to make ends meet now , the nursing home would be the last straw but it seemed inevitable,

      ann was out of the old truck first grabbing her overnight bag from the back of the front seat. i rushed as fast as my body would allow to take her bag for her , but lee instead jumped in and took it for her. we all said simultaneously" heeeyyyyy, how you doping" , and we did a big group hug and laughed . it was all part of our past as it had to do with this drunk running around a bar saying " heeeeyyy how you doooooing'? until  he came to our table  as ann lee and myself were laying in wait for him as he was about to say hey to us , we all 3 stood up and said" heey how you doing?"it floored the old drunk and he looked at us like we were crazy and just turned and walked out the door. well kinda , as he bounced off the wall first. but we were kinda crazy and still are,

      we headed to my guest house . 300 square feet of compact homeliness designed for 2 people with an electric loft designed by myself and built by lee and ann when visiting me . the loft bed would lower by cables and could be suspended at different heights allowing you to stay close to floor level if you like or raise you up into the peak oif the house and virtually blocking out everything below you. you step in the house and the bed is above you and with a flip of a switch it lowers on cables attached to each corner simultaneously. a brake is attached to the cable wire as a safety feature allowing you to lock in any position. this is all built on a trailer frame and made to look like the decked out small home it was. charming is the adjective i most often hear. normally i would rent out to fishermen on the weekend and make a couple of hundred dollars and had made plenty of rentals in winter also . it is beside my cabin here along the muskingum river and where i have my carvings. people stop all the time trying to buy my carvings , but my carvings are not for sale now. some of my favorites are preserved inside a cabin i built special for them. they are pieces of me as i always put a little piece of myself into everyone , but now my back will hardly let me shuffle around . so now i paint and write and carve with a knife . do what you can do and bloom where you are planted , are motto's i tend to live by. 

so i rent out the house and people enjoy my carvings and fish for 200 hundred a night, or 2 for 300. not a bad deal  i think and so does the bunch  of people who wait to rent it. 

    i will never get rich but then i couldn't afford to much money anyhow as i would have to change my lifestyle and i kinda like it as it is, and so does ann and lee. immediately they set to unpacking and settling themselves into their home away from home. i had turned up the propane heat in the little fake fireplace and with the insulation and tightness of the little cabin's construction it was no time till the cabin was comfortably warm.winter had descended on southern ohio with a vengeance and it seemed to follow ann and lee down i-77. i thought at times it would have been nice if they left it up there as i was supposed to go out on the town with lee and ann to celebrate my bir-christmas party as i call it. being born on the 22 nd of December doesn,t offer itself any real advantages . in fact you tend to have one or the other over lap like Christmas and your birthday celebrated at same time. the lines get more blurred when gifts are involved. soon you are just getting one gift and 2 cards, then just a gift. life was tough having a birthday around christmas. and another thing i have in common with lee was that we had the same birth date. one of the things that was a laughable moment was one day at the BMV while trying to get my license renewed . i had to mention my birth date and lee just started laughing. i said, " whattttt?whats the problem and he laughed harder.

     " we both have the same birth-date you know." 'lee says

      we had known each other for over 3 years at that point and  thought we knew a lot about each other but apparently some things slip through the crack. i never told them my birthday as i didn't want to make it a big deal . and i couldn't recall them ever mentioning theirs. what was amazing to us was that it was so strange the topic never came up until that day when lee overheard me. it was good for a laugh and to strengthen our bond as friends though. with both lee and myself having a birthday the same day , we since then had spent our birthdays together with ann always a willing participant. 

     it was my night to  chauffeur them around the bars as they painted the town red. i had quit drinking 33 years ago and i feel very strongly about drinking and driving as i was one of the reasons one shouldn't drink let alone drive. but since i didnt drink and wanted to go it was up to me to drive and we did as we headed for marietta , ohio. (to be cont.)

13.

ch.6

winter busy work 

cont. from page 11.

       lee and ann made dinner and lee's father who was a widower and  had lost his wife to cancer in an ugly battle that almost cost them the farm. lee fought to hold on and pay the bills but stage 4 cancer is not cheap by any means and the numerous trips to the hospital and then to the rest home took its toil on both him and his dad. at times lee's mom would hardly spend a minute pain free and was confined to a wheelchair where her frail frame would slump sideways in the wheelchair . it was as if she was withering away slowly. her hands ached , as well as her body and she never quite recovered from her operation as tubes were inserted to further hasten her demise but this was none to soon . as her pain and suffering went on daily for 6 months requiring medication to leave in her a pharmaceutical coma to be able to cope with life. one night the nursing home called lee , and it was then she let the family know how bad she really hurt .an infection had started and had been going on for awhile . as no one had a clue she was hurting as much  or as bad as she apparently had to be. her infection was around the old surgical scar and although tubes were inserted to drain , everyone thought the irritation around tube was due to the drain itself. she was festering inside and refused to give the slightest hint she was hurting bad, as she never complained . except for her standard answer to  anyone asking how she was . and her answer was always not a bit good. 

        the lottery could call her and tell her she won a million bucks and then they ask how do you feel now, and mildred's  answer would be not a bit good. it seems when she answered that way, everyone's response would  be," well whats the mater?" and of course you would be sucked into the ,' things were never like that in my day conversations, and 'young people don't know  nothing conversations'. if she said she was doing good then the conversation might end there with an ,'ok thats good' . 'see you later'.  family and friends soon wised up and  they were answering her' not a bit goods ' ,with 'okay that is good see you.' she must have really thought her  family and friends were butt holes as they sometimes just didn't want to hear all that stuff. lately lee's mom had not been saying much at all when they were visiting her at the nursing  home. she passed away peacefully they said. 

      seemed to be the standard nursing  home response as if they had a standard operating manual that says , in the event of death always remark to the patient's relatives they passed away peacefully. lee became angry , not so much  at the remarks but more from the passing of his mom . but still he thought , how in the hell they knew what was going through her mind when she went? it could have been searing pain or it was just simply nothingness , to have no sense of being.
        lee let his dad snore in his bed when he looked in on him in the darkness, knowing that man had demons of his own  to fight so he needed all his sleep to conquer. dad and me could do nothing now as  he lay in his bed thinking , laying in silence . tears began to well up in his eyes as he knew the next couple of days would be busy. he couldn't sleep and soon he grabbed his cell and started dialing for ann.  this time he needed a shoulder to lean on .even if it was just a little one. ann was on her way at the call to come and help with all that needed done. he lost a mom but gained a real love of his life as he  would never forget.
       dinner being over and lee was helping his dad to bed and making sure he had all his medication  and ann went on cleaning up the dinner dishes.  she too was tired but instead flopped onto the couch and waited for lee to return. she grabbed the remote,  something lee's father strictly forbid as she turned down the volume and started running through the channels when lee returned and sat sat down beside her. he slid his arm around her shoulder as she turned the volume up on a program that looked interesting to her.
      " so is your brother coming to watch your dad while we make the trip?", ann asked.
      " either he or my sis will come , i have talked to both and told them how important it was to us as we have been making plans. "
      " so are you excited as we will have 3 weeks together. i was thinking that is the most time we have ever spent together since i met you about 4 years ago. we need to stop this someday and live together no mater what ". ann said as lee started to rub her shoulders to relax ann and she snuggled even closer after feeling his big hands paw around on her shoulders.
      " you know how i feel about all this as i would love to have you with me all the time. i am here for now but soon things will change and maybe we can finally be together more. dad is slowly losing it . his meds were all over the floor and i asked what happened and he says , oh nothing as if nothing ever happens . don't know if he was trying to check out early or maybe he has the start of alzheimers. the other night i woke up and he was standing beside my bed just staring. i asked him if he was ok and he just stood there. so i just helped him back to bed. dont worry i installed a deadbolt on my door so he cant get in dear. it was scary. " lee rubbed a little harder as his emotions were finding relief in his effort to soothe anns muscles. taking out some of his frustrations with things as they are , and ann was grateful for the rub. they talked about visiting me and lee said he would call me . ann said lets surprise him its his birthday. lee led ann to his room and closed the door and locked it .
     " and i also put up more smoke detectors. , its kinda scary like having a little kid in the house. you constantly have to check the stove and its get this and get that," lee said. and he went on "i pay the bills buy the food . and where is the help, a brother and sister i practically have to beg to get them to take dad out to eat.. cant wait to come visit you. and just get away from it all. "
    ann approaches lee and spreads her hands up under his tshirt and feels the coarse stubble of his hairy chest and lets her fingers enjoy the sensation of his muscled chest as her hands slowly wrap behind lee's back as he stiffens then relaxes, as she explores his desire. and she says. " its all right dear , come to bed with me , i will make it all better."

12

ch.6

winter busy work

       lee went about his work adjusting the chainsaws, blowing the wood chips out of the carburetor , and sharpening the chains. the need for wood for the house and the greenhouse as well  for carving . he tried to utilize all his wood as if it was a valuable resource and in lee's mind it was. logs should be used to make cabins or lumber , branches could make some fancy stair rails , or firewood , and  even the branches could be used as props for tomatoes or a woven stick fence row. even the sawdust and bark had a purpose in lees life as he used  it to bed down the area where he would work . this would keep the mud from coming up and soaking his shoes and making his feet wet. as he was working on the saws he was wondering what ann  was up to at that moment. 

      lee and her  were a couple  but living separate lives , and with a distance between them of about 45 miles.   both having owned their own places and both having work related problems , they choose to spend their work week apart , at least from monday morning till friday night. when ann would meet lee at his farm for the weekend for what ever plans they had chosen for the weekend . ann also insisted on a wild card night when she would run over once in 2 weeks for a mans choice night. it was an effort to let lee know she cared. endless text messages at infrequent times helped lee with his feelings of being alone. lee really had an issue with being apart from ann , and ann knew and was proactive in this regard. 

      lee settled down in the seat in front of his workbench and began sharpening the chain for the chainsaw. his mind wandered when the routine dipping and catching and looking that would accompany each chain move till it was finished.  his big fingers grabbing the chain lightly and being nicked at times with newly sharpened blades. tonight  ann was to come home and lee had things to do as they were going to practice their tree climbing skills. ann was a bit apprehensive about climbing she had said that in the old days all  one had to do was throw a leg up and start hauling butt. she had said they were smaller then yet it seemed like she could climb higher than most. now the thought of climbing in the giant sequoias just seemed to surreal. 

    lee went over to the cupboard against the wall and took out their climbing equipment. he had used ropes slung through the crotches of the tree as a point to suspend from. this was safe for the tree. all you had to do was get the line over the limb which is sometimes 40 -50 ft. off the ground. no easy feat in itself. a new air operated gun he bought would shoot with accuracy a lead filled bag 60 -80 feet in the air and with fishing line attached , would pass over the limb and back to earth. the gun would be powered by a small electric air compressor powered off the solar grid we were going to take a long.  

      he took the equipment out to an old but sturdy oak that was at least 80 foot tall, and begin laying everything out in a prescribed order and checking his equipment for flaws or failure in any way that would hurt either of them. 2 ropes were slung over 2 opposite branches on both sides of the tree and both limbs looked sturdy as lee observed them through his binoculars. lee looked down his lane and saw ann's car approaching. she was on time for once he thought as he looked at his cell phone to ck the time and noticed the text she had sent him and he never saw till now . he hurriedly checked the text message and it read see you soon , miss you-ann. as her car pulled up in the drive he hurried to meet her and help her take her overnight bag to the house. 

      " hi dear" , ann said as she was getting out of her jeep. " so did you get my text i was coming?' 

      "yes i did," lee returned , then went on to say," sorry dear just read it and i missed you too, i was busy  getting ready for our climbing session , and wanted to make sure everything was all right.. give me a kiss." 

he leaned over her and down to hover ever so slightly above her face and leaned in to to kiss her ever so slightly at first . as if savoring the taste of her lips and then he pressed harder against her mouth as her lips parted and warm tongue played sentimental reminders of love sessions in both of their minds, enough of that lee thought as he held her close to his long tall body . ann was melting as they parted. both were ready to forget climbing but soon gathered their thoughts knowing their would be more time later to get reacquainted as they told each other, 

      after her clothes were stored in the house and they were back out in the sunshine and were watching the sun slowly beginning to set , they hurried into their climbing equipment and checked each others equipment out. \lee took out the remote control for the electric winch tied off to the bottom of the tree and soon both were feeling themselves suspended in air as the whir of the winch lifted both of them into the air and up the side of the oak. as they approached the limb they were suspended from lee threw a safety line out and over the limb to assure all was good. they were about 30 feet off the ground and looking out over the valley watching the sunset. seeing a tree up close , even this old oak , was a new experience when you are actually up in the tree. ann and lee were quick becoming experts at tree climbing and had worked everything out so they could be in a tree within 15 minutes from arriving at the tree. 

       they were hanging there taking things in when lee reached out for ann and soon they embraced , harness and all up in the air in the old oak thirty feet off the ground their legs interlocked as they were dangling , and lee thought as he caressed  the inside of anns thigh, we have to work on accessible clothing and he smiled to himself in ann's  arms , watching the sunset. life couldn't be better , till at least the sequoia trip anyhow. 

      it was beginning to get dark so lee unfastened their safety lines and they descended easier than they went up just by merely lowering themselves down with their harness. the equipment was stowed and they were soon heading back to the garage on the farm to stow everything away till their trip in spring.( to be cont.)

11.

ch.5

my winter's lament

        i never really lost her as she is out there somewhere. as with most relationships when they end , someone or both get hurt and all the memories made are soon to be forgotten. but how do you forget and move on , especially when you really care for someone like i did with leann and it  wasn't so much the fact that we may never see each other again as it was the events leading to our breakup that hurt the worse and it was immediately after our breakup that is what bothers me the most.
        i had met leann  through the internet and our relationship was a bit rocky to say the least from the start. i had wrote to her based on her profile and i liked what she had to say. she wrote back but things didn't seem to go far and then it was about a couple of weeks later she wrote again and then we had made more progress and eventually we met. i can still see her smile as she entered the restaurant where we were to meet . we had some things in common but not a lot . i remember looking into her eyes as she stared back at me wondering where this was going to take us.
      we went on more dates and eventually we became an item i don't know what it was about her that struck my fancy so hard , i know her smile was what held me spell bound for the longest time as i loved to just look at her eyes and face and wonder what it was that she was looking at and whether i could ever prove worthy enough to be with her the rest of my life. we have never had sex but instead we made love. every time i looked at her i was spell bound. i longed for her kiss and yet our time together was difficult at best. she had work and responsibilities as well i did also. days to spend together were interrupted by chores she had to accomplish before seeing me and this drove me crazy. understanding it was only her to accomplish certain things i tried to let it go , but eventually i complained because i just wanted to see her more as it seemed we were seeing each other less.
     she explained that she was having commitment issues and that she needed to deal with them . she really liked me and didn't want to string me along but she did anyhow. a renewed effort at a relationship was started again . plans were made and soon we were back at not not seeing each other again. i was beside myself wondering what was going on and still have the foggiest clue what it may have been , but i persisted in seeing her and decided  on helping her with things she needed done around her house in an effort to gain more time with her.
     i helped her install a flower bed and worked on an outside water supply pump she needed to water her garden . a friend of hers showed up on a motorcycle while we were working., i was in the garage fixing a mower she needed to use to help her mow the back yard . i watched as they talked and she walked around smiling at him and never once did she bother introducing me to him . this hurt me as if i felt i was hired help brought in to do a job , and i let my anger at being ignored seethe into a festering rage , so that by the time i left i was in a state of complete shock at being set aside and ignored.
       the next day wasn't much better as i had to return to finish the pump and it was then i confronted her about the guy. she explained him as a friend she rode with, and it was nothing more. .later after i returned home we had a fight and again broke up. i didn't talk to her for a few days and was being torn apart at wondering what i was doing wrong  and eventually she wrote to me and soon we were back together,. again things seemed well for awhile as she made more time for me and called me more often but then she and i had some bad news concerning her health.
         she was found to have a tumor growing inside her head and she needed to go to cleveland to have treatment for it. the extent and how it would affect her was not even discussed. she initially went to a doctor to have them check her hearing as she was losing her hearing in one ear. and they eventually suggested she have an mri to see what was causing the problem. as a tumor had been suggested before , after this we knew it was the problem . she had some headaches and ear noise but for the most part it wasn't bothering her to bad. the idea of her undergoing an uncertain operation to remove a tumor bothered me to say the least. i would rather it be me than her and still to this day would lie down on the operating table for her to just make the pain go away from her. initially at first she turned to me but then things become more strained with  her.
then her son   returned home to live with her.
       this ended my spending time with her alone at her house and soon i wasn't invited down very much anymore as she became more busy dealing with her problem of a tumor and her brother coming to visit . i was slowly being left behind in the dirt. time she would spend at my place was interrupted by chores she had to accomplish leaving me with less and less time  together. we would talk on the phone but i still felt as if i was losing her and this is something i really didn't want to do. i think she was at this time was taking me for granted assuming i would be there and be patient at all costs to my sanity. i never really worked that way and instead blew up again before heading to cleveland  to visit the doctor. this time i figured i had really screwed up and was feeling remorseful but again we made up and visited the doctor again.
        the operation was a major one involving a team of surgeons doing micro surgery technique where they  would enter behind the ear and work their way through the scull till they encountered the tumor and would start to remove it. the operation would last 12 hours and eventually she would lose hearing and may may have other problems due to the location of the tumor beside the ear nerve canal she was mainly worried about smiling again and i assured her that i would try and do everything possible to make her smile again even if i had to give her something to smile about.
       armed with the information of the impending operation and knowing better what she was facing after meeting with the surgeon we returned home and she prepared to get things in order. she was a strong person as she never seemed to let it bother her much or at least she was quite good at hiding it from me. her brother came to town to visit with her and numerous friends of her sons came to visit and soon i was a stranger more than ever in her life. we kept in touch over the phone and she promised as soon as her vacation started that she would spend time with me. in fact she had me planning a trip away. which i should have done in retrospect. anyhow i told her i was happy to just spend time with her at home if she liked as i figured we would have more time to do things when she was recovering. this was  major mistake on my part . if i had made plans she would not have been able to put me off like she did an shove our time together back another day. she was pushing me way again and i didn't understand why.
        i just wanted to spend time with her so badly , and it wasn't about the making love that wanted me to do it. i just so wanted to hold her in my arms and let her know everything was alright. instead i was shoved away again and then i was realizing i was no longer a priority in her life, that she was reluctant to make me anything more to her than a shoulder to lean on but only when  she wanted me. maybe she was protecting me from later issues she would have to deal with. maybe she had something else more important as she said that she had to deal with. i was beside myself and lost sleep worrying about why this was to happen as to why i was being shoved around again. i am her lover , supposedly her confidant and yet i am totally clueless why i don't matter. i lost it again and let my emotions run wild and still i am clueless as to what really happened but we broke up again and this time it was for good as she forbid me to visit her in the hospital as she didn't want to see me anymore .
      not only was i not going to see her before the operation but i wouldn't see her ever again or hear how she was doing. or anything at all would be my punishment for being her lover and friend. the day of the operation came and i was able to find out that she had made it through the operation from her son and will be eternally glad for that. but any other information was non existent. i sat and waited and made up conversations we would have had if  things were different. i kept trying to move on and forget the whole thing as i went along. it was toughest thing i have ever faced in my life. i still loved the woman to pieces------.
      and it was after i wrote that in my blog that she finally contacted me by phone after i had left numerous messages . i  was again wondering how \she  was doing as her raspy voice indicated she was willing to let me know that she was ok and that she would be out of the hospital soon. she must be trying to ease my pain or her guilt at not allowing me to be with her. i couldn't tell . as well it was hard for me to understand why this is as it is now. how she could think that i would just let her go without at least trying to find out if she  was ok. at times i think she was trying to shield me from what she must be going through as if i saw her in a reduced state that it would make her unhappy and that it would affect how i felt for her.maybe she was afraid of the nerve damage. and maybe it was her intent to make me mad so i would blow up and she could conveniently tell me to take a hike while she went through what she had to go through. not knowing what the outcome of the whole thing would be and if i would still love her afterwards if something was wrong with her .
      after all this time i still have a longing in my soul for her touch and to just hold her hands again. i have not attempted to contact her after i asked her if i could come visit her at the hospital and she said no quite convincingly. she said she would be home tomorrow and then i asked if i could come visit here there and again she said no. i left it at that.. time has a way of healing all wounds and i let her heal. i tried to do what i could and she may forever think of me as an insensitive ape. putting my needs over hes as she was about to undergo surgery and maybe i was and i will be eternally sorry.  if we could have talked  more instead of fighting and  if i had been more sensitive to her needs, would we be together.? don't know as  i was never gave another chance.
        talking to ann and lee after meeting them  parked in the farm drive , i thought it was ironic that they both shared her name and that  is part of what drew me to them .
      the worst part of loneliness is the relentless thinking time one has. time to ponder the what ifs , the where did i go wrongs , and the pointless conversations with ghosts of your past. how i long for spring as i get ready to prepare my dog a feast. she is starting to get a little funky as she gets older. at times i feel it must be arthritis , or maybe pain from somewhere else. just wish i could understand her and her me. but then i never understood women so why should dogs be an exception . oh well i must be going to hell in a hand basket.
   

10.

trip to sequoia

ch.4 cont. 

       my problem is that i spend way to much time alone to my thoughts and my mind is constantly working grinding away at this or that till i am to tired to give a damn about anything. then i go to sleep and it all starts over again as i dream about the same things i was thinking about all day long. i cant say there are to many times i have been totally free of thought. i have been looking into meditation as a way to clear all the thoughts out of my head and concentrate on nothingness.

      in this regard it would be nice to have a soundproof room as if i hear a bird chirping or a door slam my concentration will be suspended as the detective in me decides to wake up and see what is happening. i just feel if i could get to this state where i hear nothing see nothing and feel nothing maybe i could achieve some inner peace to deal with things.i tried smoking pot but it acts as a stimulus to me making me think more not less. but this escape from everyday problems is in alignment with what i am trying to achieve.  it is nice while thinking on pot to dwell on one thing or another , picking and tearing apart in ones mind that idea until i have exhausted it as a working solution to life's problem. but what is nice is that it tears my mind away from other issues i have already thought to death, giving me a reprieve of sorts if nothing else that lasts  for a little while.
     with lee and ann basically gone for the winter i have decided to try and add a japanese sun room on the south side of my cabin. the interior space will be uncluttered and sparsely furnished . or basically bare except a low comfortable chair and immense stuffed pillows to make me comfortable. i might even go with a hanging chair as being able to be suspended would ad to my relaxation. i plan on putting rolling wall panels to gain entrance to the room and floor to ceiling windows to allow the beauty of a landscaped yard to enter the room  through the windows. lee and ann will be down but not to stay overnight as their cabin will be unheated except for the fireplace. they usually bring local handmade amish items with them that i hardly eat anymore. i will eat my same stuff day after day until i get so bored eating the same thing all the time that i just grab the junk they bring me and just chow down and feel sorry later. the holidays will find them here , even though they have family to look after. i am still considered family.
      they were like the son and daughter i never had. i have had step kids who wasted no time reminding me who their mother and dad  was despite me taking care of them , and providing for them. i never asked for the position of being a parent with either of them and actually i am their senior by a few years , but they knew at times it was my encouragement that held them together and they would be forever thankful. for.
      mainly what i did for them was to give them a few pointers as to how to save their relationship . the number one thing that seemed to help was to make time for each other. and that isn't next tuesday night when she was off work and felt like it. it was when lee felt alone and needed her company , she should make time for him and her vice-a - versa . lee needed to go to her when she needed him. and if fore some reason it didn't work for one or the other to change plans then  they talked it over on the phone. they both lived a busy schedule with her office work during the day and his farming taking up a lot of time and being daylight to dark at times , it was so easy to just go on alone and not make that time for one another . but eventually when they did that , one or the other in their partners absence would begin to question why the other seemed to not care. they would break up and get back together again and it seemed at times to never  be  able to work out for them .lee one day was going on about how he was frustrated at how they never were able to see each other and remembering back to my mistakes i suggested they do as i said earlier.
     it was tough at first but after awhile they soon became convinced they wee more in love than before. as they knew their partner was there for them and had made them a priority in each others lives. not someone to shuffle around as if they were filler in the others life.  if you spend any time with a person and want it to last i feel it is necessary to do this to make it happen.
      lonely i am and hardly a good relationship adviser but it still hurt to watch lee and ann head out the drive and head home as the days between their visits would be longer till spring.i have my projects , my dog babe , my boat i will have in water till it freezes and i have the internet , and my writing to keep me company till the spring fever hits lee and ann  and they start on their trip out west. it will be time to move on again.

trip to sequoia

the sequoia trip

ch. 4

fall 2016

         fall and an early winter were making the mornings brisk here in ohio as winter was just around the corner. lee and ann had the v.w. van back together and even took it to a car show and won an award for best in show. they kept it a classic white and tried to keep most of the restoration as original as possible. the engine sounded sweet and was full of power thanks to the rebuild. all the shorts were worked out. but it was getting to late in the year to make the trip this fall. or should i say winter. ann was a bit cold blooded when it came to the weather. she was leaning to waiting to spring to make the trip. they did however head up to Mifflin state park  and spent the night in a campgrounds to try the old van out. the table and seat made out into a bed the width of the van and was quite comfy for both ann and lee. a small breakfast was made as they officially inaugurated their van. their body heat made the van comfortable, and being able to make coffee in the middle of nowhere had its advantages.
         later they returned to my place and we piled on the pontoon for one last trip up the river, before the locks closed for the winter. we cruised as far as Zanesville and tied up there to have dinner at a restaurant. we started discussing the van and the impending trip and i asked lee how it was going.
        " well the van is checking out great but we still have to work on our tree  climbing skills. " he laughed as he offered up his skinned elbow and then ann throws her leg on to the table and pulls up on her gauchos to reveal a nice abrasion on her shin. i laughed and told them they could have got both of those just goofing around in the bedroom.
         ann laughed and said "i am not into that kinky beating stuff , you know me better than that. "
        and i returned ,' well i thought i did , but by the looks of you two maybe you better adjust your trip and change the tree climbing thing . doesnt look like it is going to good.'
        lee added " just shouldnt be so hard getting into the trees. i have been looking at buying an electric winch . but that requires a couple of 12 volt  batteries and then we will need to have a solar charger. all of this needs to be back pack accessible and  ready to go in a few minutes. we can place the solar cells in a lighted location close by  and then carry the batteries to where we will use them. i still don't think the park service is going to be to keen on us climbing trees, especially the giant sequoias. after we are in the trees there isn't to much they can do about it as i doubt they will cut our rope or bring in the fire department. we just need to be able to set up quick and be in the trees before they know what is going on. this may take awhile to figure out and practice. we are looking at going early next spring."
      ann smiled at lee and said,  " i have used up most of my vacation getting the van going.   lee has to get the barns ready for winter and button things up on the farm, wont be long tilll he has to start feeding. i think we would be pushing it to get out there and back before weather becomes an issue. so i guess you will have the van in your garage till spring and me and lee will work on our climbing skills."
      puzzled i asked lee." so just what is it you plan to accomplish by getting up into the giant sequoias. just to see the view or what. "
      lee chuckled and said , " i dont know exactly but to spend time with ann sitting in the crotch of one of those giants realizing it took 500 years or more to just provide us a safe place to sit, and i intend to use it. smoke a joint and grab the zip line when i am done and fly out the tree with ann ,  to the ground and the awaiting rangers if they catch us.i will pay the fines and we will head home fulfilled . looking for the next big adventure"
      ann laughs and says' " what if they throw us in jail, i am to old to be someones play toy and besides i might like it. are you sure you thought this thing through. lee. lee belly laughed and nearly choked on his coke he had been sipping on when he heard that.
     "can i watch ?: he chuckled .
      she returned quickly with a " you are pervert arent you ?" and he said as i was laughing at the tone of the conversation they were having when  lee said in finality
      " only where you are concerned ann dear."
     our trip back down the river was beautiful as the leaves were starting to turn colors where they touched the surface of the river when bending low. the frosts were coming more rapid and and the times when lee and ann would be down on weekends would be less as the weather made travelling less desirable. ann would spend time on the farm with lee working on their tree climbing skills and i would turn to painting with oils and sketching more. anything to keep me busy and keep my mind off being alone. dreams are nice when you can share with someone . but when you have your dreams and are alone you have nothing but new dreams. ones where you were not alone. but looking for someone in the autumn of my life is getting harder each day.
,     my thoughts went back to my last love and i realized  that soon i need to move on and do what i can to find someone else . i am sure she has moved on also.

8

the sequoia trip 

ch. 3

    When Lee spoke of the coming of the Sequoia trip and his ideas for how he planned on going were just beginning to come out as we had a discussion one night a few months before they finally had left for their trip. Ann was historically quiet and had very little negative to say as Lee laid out the master plan for the trip. first he was going to buy an old V.W. van , Do whatever conversion he had to do , and then go over every little thing that could go wrong with and prepare a backup plan .He was interested in V.W.vans as you can buy this manual Lee once had, that told you how to repair a V.W. engine on the road, including a backup engine you could bring along with a  box of tools and essentially rebuild the engine or tranny sitting alongside the road. if you need an air compressor , pop a plug out and insert an airline fitting in the sparkplug  hole and start your engine up. it would inflate your tires if you need to, it was definitely a get you there and get you back van  as well as fuel efficient. I used to have one that gave me 25 miles to the gallon. But that wasn't the camper special. 

         The camper special I used to have had a refrigerator ice box that worked off propane. a pop up top camper , and a nice little table for two. Impromptu roadside picnics were commonplace with my camper. I knew personally about the air compressor thing as i had a spark plug blow out of the head as i was driving down the road. it made a god awful racket running on 3 cylinders but still made it to the parts store to pick up a heli coil kit. And now that i mentioned heli coil i will have to let you the reader be responsible for figuring that out or i will never ever get done with this story. But since you were wondering it is a thread insert kit for a cylinder head. it allowed a person to  thread the spark plug back in, a necessary evil at the least, and very much like hiring a lawyer. 

          Maybe it was me attesting to the V.W. campers reliability as a proven vehicle that intrigued Ann about the whole thing. To drive a couple of thousands of miles not worrying about anything, including how much gasoline cost. These old vans seemed to go on forever when they were running great. Ann then  did finally put in her  two cents worth  , getting Lee to agree to let her pay her share, and since they were saving money on the van then  staying at a motel nightly should not be such a big deal. That way she wouldn't have to share a bathroom. 

       She would rather take her chances in a seedy motel with beg bugs biting you and a cold shower and dirty toilet, than wake up in the middle of a forest with a grizzly rocking the camper and acting real pissed about something and nearly scaring the shit out of her, worse yet , to have  nowhere to go. At least the bath room was hers for the night. 

      So now lee was on a mission to find that V.W. van, and since they were not making them anymore , it may prove to be a harder fix than he thought.

          a picture of my dad laying on a boat dock was similar to   the one  lee and ann were just using. it sure seemed strange to happen across those photos when someone else was just doing the same thing. lee worked at storing his climbing gear and ann hurried to gather things up for their trip home. in about an hour or two they would both be getting ready for their next work week and i will be here alone . 

         i have some carvings started,  and one day this week while they are gone i will take the boat and make the 7 mile trip t town to pick up supplies. i could just drive but would miss the spray as the boat cuts through the water and it races up the hull. water droplets smash against deck and breaks up smaller and this cools you off along with a  breeze over the bow. life doesn't get much better than that. i thought back to my  last girlfriend and wondered how she was getting along now as this was a favorite thing we liked to do. but our dream vacation was the one that lee and ann were going on and that should have been us getting ready for that trip. lee and ann deserved it also and have become pretty good at hugging trees here lately. our greenhouse operation was responsible for the reforestation of approximately 5 square miles of strip mine land. . not total saturation but a large enough footprint of land to start with. it felt good being able to give back to the environment. it was lee and anns help that made it happen . 

        it was a shame i never got a chance to take that trip with my girlfriend. she had those same,  save the environment skills. to bad we couldn't just get along. and when lee suggested going out there with ann i saw it  as resurrection of what i felt for my loved one years ago. maybe through them i will get my chance to see the dream fulfilled. maybe in my mind we will be there with them. 

7.

trip to sequoia

 the sequoia trip 

ch.3

     " i'm done with this damn stuff," ann yelled as she scolded the knife she was trimming plastic with. " my hands hurt and i am tired of this, we could just load this van up and haul it up to gordons leather shop and have a new interior in it.  i will feel good just writing a check!"
      " you may feel good , but i am sure i'm not going to feel your enthusiasm when i write one to you for my half." said lee in response to ann's terse comments and also trying to calm her down.
      " lets take a break and grab a bite and sit and eat outside on the dock dear?" lee remarked when he saw ann's puzzled look.
       then  she says to lee with a smile on her face " you are kidding me arent you? i am a gunnite. did you hear me boy?  a gunnite. we dont do windows let alone the curtains for them . and now look at me cutting plastic trim for the floor of a n old v.w. van . what next? "
      "wel-l-l-l-lllll",  lee said slow and drawn out to insure that ann knew the meaning of what was to come. lee had purchased new canvas material to redo the tent pop up on his vw van." i need the canvas resewn on the roof dear."
     " not going to happen tonight and probably not this weekend. need to find a new needle for my sewing machine to handle the canvas.."  she pauses and lifts a water bottle to her lips and stares off into the distance thinking of the job ahead .
       " still have at least a couple of weeks work on the engine before we can take it out for a test drive. would be nice to have it all done by then. maybe we can go some where close and check it out. , anyways ann lets just plan on trying to get everything done by then and be ready to make our trip to sequoia in about a month from now. we will need to get online and check out where we are going and work up an itinerary."
     "itinerary-sureminerary you say. my arent you the party planner?  lets inject a laugh here. yuck! yuck!" ann laughs as she mockingly tries to make lee laugh and he smiles a big grin. he knew ann was messing with him but it was that type of camaraderie or chummy jovial play that made their relationship special.
     she put down her water and fussed about cleaning up behind them and there wasn't a speck of dirt on the new carpet in the van. the lining in the roof was replaced also and the glue smell hung in the air. the seats were still out and the subfloor was primed and painted prior to placing the new flooring down. things were coming along on anns end.
      lee spent his fair share of time chasing down shorts in the tail lights as well as running to the machine shop and the junk yard to get all the parts he needed. this last time he was in a new junkyard and found the side glass that was cracked in his van. he bought it for 150 and felt great about his purchase.  lee was going to wait tilll the van was back up running and take the van to a glass shop and have it installed.
       the engine that was in the van was taken out and this we took to a machine shop in town and had them rebuild the engine according to specs. this cost a chunk as lee had almost 2000 in the engine alone . also he purchased all the parts he needed to have a back up engine including jugs and heads , push tubes , and whatever else he needed for back up of an entire engine. this cost an additional 1200 dollars as it was left unassembled as you don't know exactly what part may break.spare body parts , tools and engine parts were  placed in a small box to be carried on trip. along with a manual. the engine wasn't ready but would take little time to hook up. having some of this work done in other places allowed lee to focus on making sure the fuel system and tank were in good shape. the electrical system didnt have any bugs or shorts and the tires and suspension was all checked out and everything was safe.
          lee wanted nothing less for ann than to be safe. he loved and cared for her. it was evident when looking at them as they had eyes only for each other. stealing glances as they talked and smiling at their jokes or looking curious at one another when one had taken way to long to answer a question as lee usually did when rambling on. ann would kick her head sideway and give lee a quick open eyed look as to say- what?
        he had made the mistake one time of not being there for ann , and it seemed as if it was about the end for them . somehow love found their way into  their hearts again and the trip to the sequoia national park was the glue that was going to bring them finally together as one , both spritually and physically as lee had some other plans for the big trees when they got there. in fact he had already purchased the equipment and was planning on trying ann out on his new idea.
      they took lunch on the deck of the boat dock on the river. tall sycamores with their white logs and branches reaching from way up high and dipping almost to the river majestically lined the river banks. a vapor seemed to rise up off the waters surface and in a way its was in  your soul as you  inhaled the aroma of wind blowing the stew at you. they laid quietly on the chaise lounge as i watched them from the porch of my cabin. the river rolled under their feet as they bobbed on its surface like jetsam and floatsam heading no where in purpose but just being. sometimes such is life. the lounges were side by side and ann napped quietly as she held on to lee's arm.

6