a man in a duck jacket

A guy in a duck suit.

 there was also a rabbit in this area a few secs before? dont ask me why.

        So I was reading the police blotter in the Times Reporter originating out of New Philadelphia Ohio , and under the section Sheriff’s dept., meaning the Tuscarawas County sheriff’s dept. , they stopped a man somewhere in Tusc. County , and arrested him after being observed by the deputies because of his duck jacket. And talking to him, they said he seemed quite agitated that there was fracing going on.  It’s those damn fracers again.

      This gave me reason to pause and reflect on what I just read. A guy in a duck jacket? Now does this jacket have feathers and come with duck feet also and of course an appropriate duck call. Imagine since he was scared of fracing and was evidently stressed, surely you would have a scaredy cat duck caller to complete your ensemble. Why wouldn’t he draw attention, after all how many people do you see waddling up and down the road in a duck jacket?

     Now if they are talking in terms of a duck dynasty jacket then that lends itself to a different explanation of what might have occurred. A duck camouflage jacket is the same old garb we have had for years after and during the Vietnam years when they become popular. We used to just call them plain old camouflage jackets and could be purchased at an army-navy store and were in fact an anti-government symbol of protest as hippies would adorn them with beads and flowers. Surely this would get you arrested in the 70’s as merely owning one with a peace symbol easily labeled you as a hippy, or  a dope smoker, and even worse a peace lover. Somewhere along the line they were Rambo’d, and soon took on a whole different persona leading up to the designer duck camouflage pattern that this man was wearing. Maybe the sheriff was envious and wondered if it was a knockoff as these patterns are all trademarked and to actually buy a duck patterned outdoor jacket I, imagine it is quite expensive. Surely something a deputy would question.

       He was seen walking up and down the road in a quite agitated condition also made me wonder. When asked, he said was upset because they were fracing nearby. I could understand his concern as I have been on a fracing crew when I worked for Halliburtin and it wasn’t fun. Back in 76 it wasn’t as nice as it is today, but it was noisy and it seemed to reach a crescendo of racing engines in a deafening roar that let that little corner of the world know we were there. Today”s multiple well sites, are paved paradises in retrospect, although they seem to use a lot more water and who knows what. Your guess is as good as mine, what goes down those wells only to be regurgitated later from the newly released gas. Although years ago this water was simply released down a hillside , now it is placed in ponds to hopefully evaporate or be reused, or finally injected into the earthquake machine called a disposal well. This is the place where we shove all that stuff harmful to the environment into what they call a perfectly safe rock strata a mile below the ground assuming it stays there and never migrates into the water supply. It is mostly saltwater with a bunch of other stuff. I would and have been a little agitated with them as the fracing often hurt my ears and I really didn’t want the job but needed to work anyhow. Been there and done that, and maybe not for the same reason but still I could understand his plight.

       Still is this reason to stop an American citizen as the deputy is violating on a couple levels his right to free speech. I mean hell if I want to wear a chicken suit and walk down the road does it give the sheriff a right to stop and ask me where I am going. Surely not. I mean I could be headed to a multitude of places. Maybe to KFC to get it over with or perhaps the hen house to have a little fun with a couple of old chicks I know. Regardless it is still my business and none of theirs if I wear a duck jacket or a chicken suit, still they have no right to detain me, unless they actually see me commit a crime. Definitely a civil rights issue. Now  if I am muttering to myself and fracing this and fracing that then maybe they may have to arrest me for my own safety assuming I was mental,  but then again one could say the oil companies have been fracing this and fracing that for years anyhow.

        A short little police blotter and so much to be gleaned from it . I literally have made a mountain out of a mole hill, but then again not so different as the deputy did with the guy in the duck jacket. Apparently the deputy would have had a field day at a farm auction as you will see more camo than ever there, and in fact it is hard to tell there is a crowd out there except for the orange warning vest that accompany the jackets. The deputy dog would have gone crazy.

       Camo in the country is not out of place so, and in fact I live in the country and own camo also. What I have is a pair of camo underwear that I put on when the girlfriend comes around and I want to act shyly as I slip them on and stand against the wall and play can you see me now, as I strike various poses in my next to nothing. Camo is ok if I have to take a crap in the woods. I mean after all who would want to be eaten by a bear while doing number 2 , the camo might buy you enough time to slip the bears grip after he comes sniffing you out. What a way to go. Bambi can see right through that crap and knows camo is no substitute for a good surprise. Where most deers are killed is the highway. That is where they run away from hunters and end up getting hit on  the road. You don’t have to camo your car to get a deer, just drive down the road.

       Possibly and I think this may be the reason why he was stopped is that he was in a residential section and that you are not allowed to roam around in camo, or the cops will be called. This reminds of a time down on the farm.

     A hunter stopped by our farm on St. Rt. 800 above Dover Dam and asked if he could hunt. And I said no, without really giving an explanation besides we had decided as a family to stop hunting on the 126 acres we have down there.

     He asked me why not, in a kind of sarcastic way as if I owed him an explanation. This pissed me off. So when is no not good enough and why do I have to offer an explanation and a long defense of our family’s stance on hunting at the time.

    I told him it was because of guys like himself that seem to not understand our family had made a decision to not hunt and that we needed to offer no explanation and that hunters in general tend to be a little pushy. I have seen hunters in camo come to my grandma’s front door with each carrying a shotgun over their shoulder to ask permission to hunt our property .My grandma was 90 at the time and it just made me wonder why they couldn’t leave their gear in the car.  Instead they stood up there and schmoozed her until she let them hunt. Then they later came and bitched at me because their car was blocked in by other hunters.  I have a problem with that.  We as owners and caretakers of the farm have no time for their crap,  as I illustrated to the guy in front of me, just how I felt about hunters.

      I reversed the situation and asked him where he lived. It was a fair question; he already knew where I lived as he was standing in front of me. He was after all asking permission to wander over my land unsupervised, and after stammering around for an answer, and as if it seems he suddenly forgot where he lived , that I went ahead and asked the next question in a way , he could answer without divulging anything and I could get back to doing what I was doing.

    I told him I assumed he lived in a residential section of town and he agreed to the general thing and I asked him how much land he had , and he said he had a quarter of an acre. And then I asked him if I dressed up in my camo would you feel comfortable if I hung out in that tree little Johnny climbs in your backyard and maybe bag me a deer.

     His mouth dropped as he suddenly was faced with the prospect of me hunting in his backyard, in town, behind his house with a gun and in camo, no less. He wasn’t too impressed with the idea but was reluctant to allow me as he desperately wanted to hunt on our land. Finally he relinquished his control over his land and offered up his own little piece of suburbia in an effort to bag a Bambi.

     He said sure, but he didn’t know why I would want to hunt on his land, the neighbors were too close and that surely someone would call the cops as they apparently did with the duck guy.

     To be honest I was almost this close to letting him hunt , just so I could dress up and shoot that damn concrete deer he so cherished in his little yard where little Johnny climbed in the trees. I could see myself stalking the concrete deer and hoping it would not bolt out into path of the dear old man next door as he starts his car and is ready to run since this crazy farmer showed up in camo and is stalking a damn concreter deer. Could you imagine the looks on all the subdivision’s faces when they hear the gunshots rollout and they simultaneously call 911 on their cells, to say someone in camo with a gun is shooting out there. It would be priceless but this is what we have to put up with daily in deer season although I would have probably been arrested much sooner , shortly after getting out of my vehicle and taking the gun out of the car.

     Just seems it is ok to allow the crazies from the city to come out in the country and play with their guns but when the country folk come into their lairs we are psycho. Don’t figure.

     Anyhow after about four no’s he figured he wasn’t getting anywhere with me, and then he asked if it was ok to ask someone else. I asked him if it was ok that I call 911 and tell them he was trespassing. He seemed to understand and left quickly.

      Actually my first thought when I read the article and imagined it in my head and that was a Barney Phyffe character from Mayberry stops a man wearing a duck suit in the country and asks him where he is going and the man simply answers” Are you quackers for stopping me?” Don’t you just love the small town police blotters and know you have your finest out there protecting you from errant ducks, even when they had no right to.