Get Your Wings Here !!!!
Maybe I could
get me a new job as a wing carver or possibly just add this to my resume. I know a lot of angels here on earth that
could benefit from the use of a pair of chainsaw carved clunky wings. So what
if aerodynamically you are unable to fly , and what if you don’t like the halo I
build for you out of a coat hanger painted gold with some cheap dollar store
paint. It is still far better than bearing the weight of the carved wooden one. Still just think how you can impress your friends with your new
heavenly glow. Sorry can’t do anything about your past but with a little guilt
ridden admission of your sins and asking forgiveness of the powers that be, you
may be on the path to a new start.
That is the nice
thing about being a chainsaw carving artist. What if you break down alongside
the road and you forget your jack at home? Simple just get out your chainsaw
and head to the side of the road and lop off a suitably sized tree with one
short piece and one long one, and you have a fulcrum you can put under the corner of
the truck and lifting it high enough to change the tire. What if the lug nut is
hard to take off? Well any good chain saw carver will have his cordless drill
available, just find a bit large enough to drill a hole 8 inches deep in the
end of a 5 foot piece of log about 5 inches in diameter slip it over your jack
handle and soon you are stripping threads with the added leverage. A little MacGyver in you and a vivid
imagination can get you out of some sticky situations if you get comfortable
with your chainsaw. Learn to know its
limitations and how far you can push it.
If I was stranded
on a deserted tropical island with trees, this is important, and besides having a woman to nag me
on, I would want a chainsaw and gas and soon I would have my own little piece
of paradise. And if she just won’t quit with the lip exercises, one could
always find a suitably sized tree you could carve a one person dugout out of
and send her on a trip to find someone who really cares. As you truly find
paradise in your Tiki inspired thatch hut as the smoke from your torches waft
across the lagoon and you wave at your dearly departed one as she sets sail for
her new role as shark bait. You just lounge back in Adirondack inspired lounge
chair, with your trusty, faithful, always there carved Fido sitting beside you.
You got to love a chainsaw, the possibilities are endless as you wave and
motion for her to go on and get saved, and fake tears at her leaving as you pet
Fido on the head and tell him to sit.
I did manage to
get some carving done adding another 2 hrs. to the total time it has taken for
me to carve this totem. I took my medium sized chainsaw and used it to carve
the notching for the attachment to the body of the eagle and carved the front side of the wings. I officially removed
the last of the bark on the main part of the totem yesterday, I have some detailing
to do with my carving saw but I am getting to the point that all that is left
is finish sanding and making it work. The back of the wings are still barked
but I should have all that off by the end of today. Think I will flip the totem
over and attach the wings with glue and dowels. Finish the carving on the back
of the wings and stand it up by the corner of my carving shed and secure it in upright
position with a strap as I finish painting. I have a ramp on the end of the
carving shed that should be good for allowing me to paint and finish the detailing
of the totem. I always try to think ahead as to what I might need and the
easiest way to do it.
all pics taken with camera phone under low light conditions
This is the
place where I could use some help. Possibly from my shark bait significant
other. The totem is getting more delicate and moving it with the tractor
sometimes causes damage, just having an extra set of eyes always help avoid
damage. I will get by though and if not will fix my mistakes. You can always
tell when I am moving carvings as a grumble and an ‘Oh shit’ are sounds that
can always be heard above the tractor’s engine noise.
at this thought and in conclusion i am reminded about the other nice thing
about using a chainsaw that I just thought of is that it muffles all noise
except engine noise, I cuss and swear as I go along saying oh shit I shouldn’t have
cut that nose that short, or maybe a _uck I shouldn’t have cut that deep, or
even a way to go dip shit in reference to myself at making yet another mistake. These utterances are excluded from the viewing audiences ears. They think
I mean to make those cuts as I continue on making it work. I always swear to refrain from swearing but
sometimes it just slips out of my mouth like greased lightning. With a chainsaw it doesn’t matter. Damn it I shouldn’t
have hit that key. I am out of here.
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