Saturday, March 8, 2014

agonizing reappraisal


Why do I write?


grape arbor at Stan Hywet 

       Because I can is a simple answer. To permanently preserve in thought something I have shared with you the reader, in the form of a typed manuscript. A thought, an idea, an observation, or possibly a better way to do something in an effort to communicate with the masses as it is for my personal benefit of knowing I tried to make a difference. Some days it is hard to create meaningful dialogue, other days it flows like water.
     It is more than know it all attitudes, as if my opinion is the only one that matters, in fact it is the opposite. Some of my most responded pieces I have created have to deal with my limitations as a human being. How I overcome adversity and still have the ability to move on with my life with a minimum of whining and crying about how bad I have it. Even at my worst I am still here to carry on with the writing, thus I must not be in too bad a shape to press on like I do.
      When I first started writing I found it hard to read what I wrote as if every word out of my mouth needed to be prophetic and full of meaning. This isn’t always the case  and I have learned that I can psycho analyze myself and my writing to death and come up with this sterile load of crap , filled with facts and figures but overall lacked substance and readability  as if there is such a thing.
      Readability is what draws you to come back, day after day just to see what this old farmer is up to. I try to write from my heart giving up old stories dear to me , or impart information on this and that on subjects I  believe in such as environmental issues , and healthy living. I find that many of you who regularly follow me believe in the same issues or have the same interests. This is good and keeps me focused. It also leads me to believe in hope, where one day we will have nothing to complain about as the water will be clean and the air pure, and everyone will have their belly full and all we have to do is sit around and love our neighbor. Wishful thinking that world harmony will come to us in our lifetime. But it is in our lifetime we became aware of that possibility.
     The peace movements and songs of John Lennon and others gave rise to a belief in something better. A utopian society where we would all get along, and if you needed something, a friend or a neighbor would soon be headed to your place to share some love. We still have a lot of work to do in the area of world peace, and brotherhood of man, but in little ways such as my blog we become more aware of how important it is not only for man to find balance in nature but also how we should interact with nature to allow man to be all that we can be. We are the caretakers of all life here on earth. Communicating our thoughts and beliefs are all part of a social revolution we need to take up, to understand all we need to do the job we are supposed to do.
    I spend more time than others reading and trying to understand, or scouring the social networks as I have very little family life I need to entertain myself with, having no kids of my own or a person in my life to occupy my time. This has allowed me more time share with you the readers my opinions and life in general. This has been good therapy for me at times allowing me a chance to congeal my thoughts in a programmed response to actually sound like I know what I am talking about.
        Had you fooled didn’t I?
        Writing has climbed under my skin and is a part of me. Revealing strengths and weaknesses as telling stories always leaves a portion of me in the minds of readers. Sometimes I feel exhausted and personally vulnerable as a result of what I have to say. Always wondering if I said it right, or if it will be taken the wrong way, but if given the chance to do away with it all, I would still continue to forge on as it is a piece of me now. Through it all though, it is more than you the reader I do it for.
      I do it for me. At times a part of me wants to believe that in some small way I might make a difference.  And my life will be worth something, if nothing else but for your entertainment as you laugh at my misfortune, and wonder what this old farmer is up to now.

      

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