Monday, January 6, 2014

don't you just love when a plan doesn't work

Salesman, if They Only Knew




     Had to go to Lowes yesterday and buy a new screen door. Armed with the overall dimensions of the screen door I set off to find what I wasn’t looking for. That was more work than I needed to do. I have replaced screen doors before and although it could be simple, it seldom is. Asking and expecting quality help from the salesman at Lowes or any diy store is a lot like a trip to the dentist. You dread going to the dentist because the pain is so close to the brain it hurts more, and then you have to open your wallet and feel it again as they have student loans to pay for or at least they keep reminding us to the fact. In the big box department stores you get to stand around and watch the salesman go on and on talking to someone about a possible big sale they will probably never get so that you, the person who is going to actually buy something gets to stand around and wait patiently, a hard thing for us f-ing Ohioans to do, while he chit chats away with the couple who are just thinking about buying. This happened to me yesterday and I stood there ten minutes trying to get assurance I had the right product so I wouldn’t have to return it. Guess what it is going back, ripped up box and all.
     On the top of the box it showed an overall width of 32 inches, and I wanted assurance by the salesman there, I had the right screen door, assuming since it was his department and he should be knowledgeable in the subject , instead all I received was a hard time. As I said I stood and waited my turn patiently till the salesman walked away from the counter to show the couple more stuff to not buy, I then said to myself that apparently I was invisible all 6feet 4 inches and 250 lbs of me had suddenly been reduced to nothing and that my sale didn’t matter to this guy. So I figured if he wasn’t going to help me maybe someone else would. So I rang the little buzzer and guess what the sales man rushed right back to the counter looking worried that I somehow needed help, and didn’t apologize but instead seeing me looked pissed that I would pull such a stunt as to ask for help when he obviously could care less if I stood there all damn day. I asked him if I had the right door and armed with my measurements and both of us looking at the box and the diagram he hurriedly assured me I had the right door and hurriedly ran back to his non buyers. So I paid for the screen door and loaded it by myself into the expedition and headed home.
      Now the only way to find out if the screen door will surely fit in the opening is to check out the installation instructions in the big box you just bought, which requires you to open and find out where they stuffed them. Why they don’t laminate them on the outside of the box or offer the retailer a copy so the salesman can assure you have the right one is beyond me. Anyhow after I rip the box open and according to the directions on the outside of the box I find the installation directions in the very bottom under a pile of parts and finally open and assess my project only to find out I have to rip boards off the entrance to make it large enough to accommodate the new door. Don’t have to move them much, just a quarter inch but it might as well be a mile when you are talking 100 year old boards nailed in by my grandpa years ago. The diagram on the box on the outside was not a true representation of the products requirement to be installed.
     So I debated all night long how I am going to go about this project and decided to hell with it I am not going to eat this door and move boards, instead I am going to pack it all in the tore up box and include the instructions and take back to Lowes and demand the right door, If they can’t provide it then will go somewhere else.

     This is what is wrong with our marketplace. Selling stuff and hoping we will not bring it back. I thought about using it on my house but I haven’t really needed a screen door that bad. And we would still have to buy another. I say screw it and Lowes for hiring inept salesmen who apparently have trouble seeing a real customer, when he comes in. I will shove all the parts and pieces minus the instruction sheet I intend to show the return person at the store, into the torn up box and tape it together haphazardly with some rip stop tape so they have to send the box and door back to the factory to repackage for sale again, and maybe then they will understand what it is to provide more information about their product before trying to sell it. I doubt it but oh well. I just want the right door and not a bunch of extra work. This kind of crap the stores want to shove down your throat is a load on everyone when it doesn’t work  and we all pay for it in higher prices or loss of jobs as companies are forced out of business by their own stupidity. All that blank cardboard space could have been used to provide more information about their product that was hidden in the details of their instruction sheet.  Way to go America.

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