it isn't a typical day

It’s Turkey Season

      I am not talking about the wild ones but instead the gutless assholes that purposely avoid me and instead go behind my back to receive hunting rights from my mom who he knows he can schmooze a hell of a lot better than I. This asshole has never done anything for my family except maybe schmooze Mom with some gifts.

    I was wondering where the tire tracks were coming from the other day that I saw going up on the hill and became concerned enough to take my truck up there and check it out, but I didn’t see anything. And then later when I had a chance to talk to mom and she casually brought it up in conversation that this guy had called her to ask permission to hunt on our land. She agreed to give it to him since he had always hunted on our land. I don’t think he has always hunted on our land as he is younger than I and apparently dumber than I am and since I have lived here as a kid and have quite a few years in here on this farm. I can remember quite a few years he has never hunted here. In fact it was his dad that even allowed him to get a foot in our door in the first place, but then it wasn’t his dad that was asking permission to hunt instead it was his son.

    I personally don’t care for hunting or hearing gunshots on my property but awoke to that sound this morning and my ire was peaked at the thought of this asshole who has never really done nothing but possible entertain mom on one day a year with his apparently ample amount of bullshit to continually allow this asshole to roam freely hunting what remains of the natural wildlife that remains here on the property. This is food he is taking away from my mouth in the event I should ever need it bad enough. I have done more for this family than this asshole has ever done. and as well I feel I am trying to be a good steward of the farm trying to preserve that which roams freely , only taking what we have to in order to take care of our self. So far we have needed nothing and this asshole contributes nothing and only takes from the farm.

     I have worked countless hours on this farm improving it for the better while working to return it to a better natural state than it was before. I personally like seeing the wild life and feed birds here with money out of my own pocket. I give what I have to make their life better. Most assuredly the turkeys don’t personally come down and partake of the bird feed but I have seen them in my fields and also have seen the effects of them ravaging corn and oats I have planted before in the fields. I have no problem with this. An old adage of farmers was to just plant a little more as they have to eat also.  As we continue to infringe on their habitat it is even more important that we provide for the wildlife we impact.

     Now turkeys are about the dumbest animal to hunt. You shoot one and wait, and another will stick his head out to see what happened to Harvey his buddy. I have seen them skirting the fields and it is impressive when they come across the field in huge flocks as they like to line up as if they were in a shooting gallery further strengthening my argument as to how dumb they are. Their numbers are plenty of which you would have a hard time counting. Numerous times I have heard mom mention of how it was nice to see the turkeys in the yard and on the hills around the farm. But apparently not as nice as she would admit, as I guess it is much better to have the asshole shooting them so that they no longer appear.

     When I was young growing up on the farm we never had wild turkeys around here. In fact the dying of the chestnut trees and their removal from the forests as well as over hunting virtually almost caused the wild turkey to become extinct. Repopulation of them has increased their numbers but not so much that I remember them knocking at the doors wanting to be fed. And if we couldn’t feed them then shoot them and put them out of their misery as they haven’t eaten in a while. I also feel that our place should be a sanctuary for them as we uniquely situated here in a remote part of the valley and since everyone around us hunts or poaches then maybe our place would give them a  chance to avoid detection and allow them a chance to propagate their species for the future.

     But the only thing dumber than a turkey is the asshole who decided to go around me and assure that when mom goes so does his chance at hunting. I will be the first to let him know and in fact I think I will call him right way and inform him that he is no longer welcome on this farm. I have no use for slimy creatures who decide to go around me or against my wishes, or for that matter take food out of my mouth as I never know when I might have to take wildlife to eat but would surely expect that on 40 acres I have something left to eat that is natural and ready to eat without growing it. This guy has plenty of money and I think it time to cough some up and buy his own damn farm and then he could hunt as he pleases and leave me the hell alone.

   I have to respect my mom’s wishes and if she wants the asshole to hunt then so be it. It doesn’t mean I have to be nice to him or show him any kind of respect as I have done that by granting mom’s wishes. I have told friends of mine they couldn’t go hunting here so why should allow this guy I never see till hunting season show up and be allowed to hunt regardless of who his dad is.

    And if I was going to allow hunting I think they should pay for the privilege. I sacrificed black walnut trees here on the farm to help pay the bills, and now I have to clean up the mess left behind and utilize those best I can. That is thirty trees that needed replanted and maybe more since those were mature trees. Do you think this guy would help? Hell no. No one is going to help me. We need a new barn roof on the only remaining barn we have, I think if anybody wants to hunt then they need to start paying to help put a barn roof on. Not that I want any of their help but still if I have to sacrifice, why shouldn’t they?

     Oh by the way if anyone has a thought of schmoozing me to be allowed to hunt. Then save your time and energy. I could care less unless you wake me up with gunshots on the farm in the middle of nowhere.