Tuesday, February 25, 2014

you just cant make this stuff up

Day from hell 542
A dead skunk, a heifer, and a dog




      You might ask yourself just what do these three things have in common. I have been asking the same since the other night after returning home. I am still trying to figure out what happened and still have no clue. Neither the dog nor the heifer wants to fess up and of course one couldn’t expect a dead skunk to say much, could we?
    All I know is something was a brewing as I noticed Babe’s excitement as she greeted the Ford  Expedition as Mom and I returned from a Sunday dinner out with one of my friends. Mom and I were heading up the lane and Babe met us and was all excited and from her actions couldn’t wait to tell us what was going on. Babe though, has a tendency to vocalize and soon her conversation became unintelligible. Maybe it is that she is female and I really just don’t understand women so maybe I tuned her out. I made sure Mom was safe in the house and let Buddy her dog out and soon Buddy and Babe were running around and Babe forgot to tell me what it was she was trying to say when I pulled up and she stuck her head in the door.
    I grabbed the feed can and began to fill it with grain, and was soon headed to the barn. Where I also soon noticed the heifer wasn’t there. This is the same heifer that avoided being loaded out and refuses to leave the farm, but in moments notice will head out and seemingly undeterred by electric fence take off on a whim. Yes this is the same one. Cause for mild panic, but still the power of grain will bring them back. This girl loves her grain. Her mom would yield to no calf except her as she is special when it came to eating in large groups. Rarely do you see the matriarch in a cow herd protect a calf as much as her mother did. Her mother was the same being aggressive and untrusting of humans. Would have loved to have kept her as all cattle I have owned.

     I have taught my cows to come when I feed the grain and I will yell “SSSSooock cow”, and they come a running after three or four yells knowing there is feed. This heifer knew the yell and I shouted loudly in the black night, scouring the dark silhouettes searching for any sign of movement. At one point I thought I heard a moo but if I did it wasn’t showing its head and was being elusive. I put Mom‘s dog Buddy in the house and headed to my house to suit up better for the cold as it was close to 15 outside. I grabbed the flashlight and headed back to the barn.
     As I trudged along I remembered back to an earlier time in the evening,  just a couple of hours before  while working on the pond, I noticed the heifer who I disturbed from her sleep on a huge pile of hay was sauntering off up the hill. I yelled to her and half joked,” Where you going, are you leaving me?”
      The heifer turned and looked at me and gave me a dirty look as if to say “Now how in the hell am I supposed to answer that. I am a cow!”
     The last I saw of her before leaving was looking up the hill, as I could see her black silhouette in the evening sun as she stood on the hill top under the storm ravaged twisted maple. The branches above her form appeared as fingers on the ends of arms stretching up into the bright golden crimson sky. She and the whole scene were firmly etched in my mind. I thought to myself surely she could not have taken me seriously. The entire time Babe kept silent but she seemed to take on an air about her. A pungent skunky smell seemed to be in the area, although Babe kept her distance and seemingly seemed to be all the time hunting for Mudder the heifer.
     Mudder received her name as she was born in a mud puddle and was covered with mud. Two minutes on the cold wet muddy ground and she was up on her feet and moving. This is almost a year ago to the date today. I can remember her dad ran out to the top of the hill and proclaimed loudly his new arrival as he bellowed time after time. The valley reverberated in bull cries. Again rarely do I hear this in farming, as if she is special. She is, she is a special pain in the ass or pia to me. Supposed to be on the truck and gone and still she haunts me daily. As now as I sit here typing realize I need to finish the story so I can feed her dumb ass. As if things are better now that the rest are gone.
     Well I guess I don’t know what I would have done without something to care for. And in some ways I am glad to still have one. I worry for her loneliness and hope she can be without cows till I can make some other arrangement. Still don’t know what I am going to do with her. One or a hundred the work is still the same, as it still takes just about the same amount of time to do both.
      So anyhow in the dark of the cold ass starry night I started the tractor and set out looking for her as trying to call her in failed. Babe likes to circle the tractor and in the night and  is just constantly darting here and here in the lights avoiding me, switching to following me at times, and leading me at other times into the black abyss called the night. Trying to find a black angus in the dark is almost impossible. I followed the fence line in those places known to be down the most and soon found where the hole was. An area frequently knocked down by deer, and soon steered the tractor over the wire and was soon heading up further onto the hill above the house where I can see for miles at times. Just not tonight as 10 feet beyond the tractor beams was a complete light forbidding darkness.
       At times especially after crossing the tractor over the wire I would notice that smell of skunk, the night air being cold and dry and seemed to accentuate that smell at times.  At times it seemed to coincide with my dog Babe and her proximity to me. Finally I had realized, it was her the smell was emanating from. She was sprayed with a skunk, and surely would require bathing at the house when I returned. I circled the farm and in the dark could not find any trace of heifer, or where the heifer had been. Facing washing my dog, I decided to head for the house after I checked the nearest road. This was about a half mile away after finding no trace of her there I was soon putting the tractor in the garage. Funny how I never noticed the smell much till I was on the tractor. Anyhow the skunk smell had to go.
      As soon as I was in the house as I herded Babe to the bathroom and without any effort she knew she was doomed and offered to jump in the shower without me man-handling her. I was running out of hot water as I washed her the last time. Applying this and that, still I can find a hint of skunk when I am close to her. I was wet and cold from being outside and I just never could get warm till I was in bed with the covers on and finally I laid there and thought of the heifer still out there and hoped she would stay close and not wonder to the road and get hit on the road.
      That was day from hell 138 as I had 4 heifers who were supposed to be of a special new beef breed , I believe belted Galloway , anyhow they were fence jumpers and decided one mossy foggy black night where light rarely finds refuge  in, that these 4 cows decided to take a romp on the wild side destroying the neighbor’s garden and ripping down grape vines to walking across the Tuscarawas river bridge  in the middle of the road , onto not  just any road but the state  route 800 as it crosses the river above Dover Dam . I know that they did because I found the cows next to my neighbor’s field and he was on the other side of the river. The river was way too deep and swift for them to cross otherwise. That same night saw three accidents on state highways involving cars and cows. It wasn’t a full moon that night but the cows were in motion. I knew my cows crossed the bridge on the road, as they left fresh cow patties on the centerline in almost the center of the bridge. It is scary to think and you could not imagine how relieved I was that no one came along and hit them. You couldn’t see ten feet in front of you that night. Other people I read of were not so lucky, as just north of my location at that same time and south on the same road cars hit cows and had damage. Must have been Holy Cow night. I know if I was driving along in a fog and 1000 lb. cow jumped out in front of me those would be the first words out of my mouth. Holy cow!!!!
      I tried to force back thoughts of how safe the cow was and figured she may have wandered off, but in the morning she will find her way back as she will miss her feed. Sleep came but soon I was up. Much earlier than before as I grabbed some coffee and headed to the barn and sure enough the heifer that was snoozing jumped to her feet as I startled her with my early presence. She looked alright and except she too reeked of skunk. I thought it was strange that first my dog and now my heifer both reeking of skunk. What are the chances both would be sprayed in the same day with a skunk, and why?
      I still had fence to fix the fence so i I was soon up on my new old tractor and I took it and headed up on the hill to fix the fence after feeding the heifer more grain. As I am heading to the area where the fence needs fixed I again detect the overpowering scent of a skunk and notice that Babe is staying by the tractor wanting no part of the area of the field I am in now parked. I looked around and saw a dead skunk, not more than ten feet from the fence on the opposite side the fence from where the heifer was supposed to be. It almost looked as if the skunk had been kicked, and it had definitely sprayed before it passed away.


      The only thing missing is an explanation as to why my dog Babe, my heifer, Mudder and a skunk were in the same spot at the same time in a field in the middle of nowhere. A wandering skunk may spray one animal it passes, but not 2 within a couple of hours and then be killed by the spot where the heifer was out.  I do remember telling Babe before I left to keep an eye on the heifer and keep her in the fence.
      Now as I have said before Babe is not the best cow dog and has been known to chase cows in the opposite direction to which I want them to go, and I have at times had to put her in the house as she is a totally disruptive force to be reckoned with when it comes to cows and moving them. I would have to listen to her mournful pleas as I walk away from the trailer as she truly wants to help but hasn’t got a clue what to do or will listen to me. And given the chance to oversee the heifer I may have given Babe to much leverage when I told her to watch the heifer. I could just imagine her sitting beside the fence or even entering the pasture area she has ventured into more frequently into, and staring at this calf as it went about its day. She does this constantly as she is rather ocd about things and especially cows.
       Now I am sure the skunk was just trying to get over some defensive issues as to why he smells so bad, and why no one likes him when the heifer showed up dragging a stupid dog along. The dog and the heifer slowly began to circle the skunk and wondering in part what it was and why it smelled so bad. The skunk made a beeline for the electric fence and before he could get there was stopped by the heifer. The skunk left with no choice and not ready to deal with her or the dog sprayed the heifer, who in turn jumped into the fence, as it kicked sideways at the skunk knocking the fence down and Babe my trusted cow dog rushed in to help the heifer, who in turn scared the heifer off through the fence and Babe also was then sprayed by the dying skunk . Babe in turn ran away in the same direction the heifer took further driving the heifer away into the night. Babe hurried back to the house to tell me what had happened but soon forgot after the excitement of seeing me come home had overwhelmed her.
       Not quite sure what happened but sorry to those I had sought help from on Facebook as I wanted to get the word out quick I had 600 lb. heifer on the loose. The worst part is she looks so good that someone would have to think twice about not adding her to his herd if he had one. I would surely hope you think twice about that.  Fortune in some ways would be mine if that happened as things seem to happen when this heifer is around.  I have pictures but one Black Angus looks like another. Not being racist just real, and in the dark are harder to see.

       Now if there is a moral to my supposed story and that would be watch what you say, as you never know who may be listening. Babe having been gave an order to be in charge of the heifer, I am sure overexerted her authority and stepped over the line into the pasture carrying things to the extreme so that rare animal events like this occur in nature. It is not normal and only happens to me. But then again it is just another day from hell. I should be used to it by now. 

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