what a mc awful thing to do to a person

     mc donalds has been a way of life for most of us as we have seen them grow and metamorphisize into the mc giant  chain they have today. cows cringe when they hear  the mc donalds name. if ronald showed up on a farm he might make a pretty good target for a bull dressed like he is , let alone try to run in those red shoes. ronald has become an icon for our kids as he is a symbol of playtime . it is so cool as a child to run through the germ infested mazes.  bounce into the pool of grimy balls and then go grab your sandwich and go for more playing. as your mom nonchalantly sits and talks , totally unconcerned about your health or anything as she too finds solace under ronald's  arches. being number one has its drawbacks as you become the standard of how not to do something, and unfairly everyone wants to demonize mc donalds when they really are no different than any other business serving food. in fact i have seen a lot in worse shape and never get criticized. 

     

       now here is a pet peeve of mine in the picture above and this is real . i like their chocolate chip cookies a lot and occasionally if you are lucky in the wintertime you can buy them fresh baked in their mattel easy bake oven. it must be,as numerous times they told me it only takes 6 minutes to bake. dont care how they do it as they are good. far as i am concerned they could be melting them under the space shuttle rocket engines as long as when the 6 minutes is up, i have my break apart and taste the chocolaty goodness cookie  that is before you. well as i was ordering i looked at the cookie price and had to make some quick decisions as i could get 3 for a dollar, and not a bad deal as it is at most mc donalds or i could get them for .30 cents a piece which would be 90 cents for three and a saving of a dime . in fact if i was buying 9 cookies at .30 cents a piece i could actually afford ten at the same price as it would cost me to buy 9 cookies. this means a lot to us sugarholics. and i hope you are following me on all this. i just thought about asking for 3 individual cookies in 3 bags to assure i was getting my 30 cents worth. but then  i felt pretty assured they may have made a mistake in their mc math and told management who appropriately blamed on lower level workers and assured me they would rectify by raising the price to 35 cents. dont you just love america? 

       now i dont know who all my readers are but i am assured that when travelling almost all would rather use the bathroom facilities at a mc donalds over most places especially in an emergency situation . i have been there on occasion . run into mc donalds, leave a huge stink bomb and slip out the door again. yet never feel obligated in the least to buy anything, for fear the stink catches up with you. a number 2 was commencing to turn the inside of my truck into a place i knew i didn't want to be. and necessity told me that the nearest mc donalds on my trip was in cambridge and i was coming up to the exit just off   i-77.

     my wheels on my truck careened into the parking lot narrowly missing an old couple as they tried to push their walkers uphill to the outside picnic area. i slammed on the brakes and was outside the vehicle and on a fast shuffle and doing kind of slide as i wasn't breathing for fear of needing the room to store more. i slid quietly into the bathroom and was amazed not to find a mcdonalds lifer in the stall smoking cigarettes and drinking senior coffee. it was empty until i entered the stall and shucked my drawers down and plopped down. now the details of what happened after this i will leave to your imagination but will say i was relieved to have made it this far unscathed. but i did wonder about that popping noise i heard when i sat down . i finished and stood up and pulled up my underwear and looked down at my pants and noticed what looked to be blood oozing in the inside of my pants. i was horrified as instantly i thought there was something wrong with myself and i was bleeding. not good. i reached around and felt my underwear and there seemed to be nothing . but yet it looked exactly like blood  in my pants and then i noticed it running down the side of the toilet bowl. and lifted the seat up to find 2 bar b que sauce packets like they give you for mc nuggets  under the feet of the seat of the toilet. hence the popping noise i heard in my rush to sit down.as the seat lid was placed in down position hiding them to the unsuspecting person. 

      now i was mad and my pants had runny red stuff in them . well this is mc donalds and one thing i have against them is the air dryers . hard to blow your nose with them things let alone dry your pants after rubbing them with water soaked toilet paper coming off in clumps. and doing this while standing with your pants half way down in front of a sink first then an air dryer. yet i did all this and still no one came in . not even the old senior with his cup of coffee. i was lucky and looked like a pervert trying to blow dry my red soaked pants and finally owned up to the humiliation of walking straight to the truck before someone did see me. and just as i was about to face the world i said to myself the first schmuck who snickers at me when i walk out this door  is getting his head shoved somewhere . apparently i had my cloak of invisibility on as i just slinked the best way a 6 foot 4 inch guy could slink out of mc donalds, with red blotches all over the back of my pants. i climbed into the pickup and gave a big whew as i deserved it. avoid one tragedy to be caught in the middle of another , and still come out unscathed. it was going to be a mc great day as soon as i was home. 

      now i debated telling this story as i feel that some scoundrel will think it is funny and try it. i laughed but it wasnt till i was home and changed my pants and realizing no one saw it but me. the moment i saw it i was horrified as the red looked like real blood , and it scared me considering the urgent need for the bathroom and all . i thought it might be connected. wow . now if this was kharma and it was payback for what i did to someone else , then so be it . but i am at a loss to think how i could have been rude to someone else to allow this to happen to me. a suggestion to any who feel the need to try this on someone. emotions get a little edgy . be smart like the assumed kid who did this to me. don't sit and wait for the person to come out the bathroom. it could get a bit dicey especially if you have to laugh. one reason i did write this story is to be aware,as i am constantly when using facilities anywhere . this could happen to you . what a mc awful thing to do to a guy.