trip to sequoia -ch.26 cont.

Ch. 26 (cont.)

    Ann and Lee came in later and found me asleep on the bench and their voices startled me. I arose to go to bed and let them have their quiet when Lee said to me.

   “No stay please.  Guy we need to talk about our plans, and hopefully yours.”

    Then Ann chimed in. “Yes Guy please stay a few minutes and talk with us we would like to you to hear us out.”

    I said. “Sure. What’s up?

    Lee said, “Well I will go first. Guy you are our closest friend and we still would like you to go along with us on this trip. Seems like fate landed us back here at your place after our first attempt at heading out west soured so to speak. And yes partially the reason we are back here is because of our friendship with you but there seems to be some other reason I hurt my leg and find it hard to move around. Also I will be recuperating from this for weeks and we need to get moving on our trip. The long and the short of it Guy is that we are asking you to go with us again on our trip. I need you to drive and we just think it was only fate that made us come back your drive and meet you in the first place, and now it is fate that brought us back here again after the accident. What do you think?”

     Well I said, “Don’t know that fate was such a determining factor or at least it wouldn't have put you in such harm’s way that it allowed you to almost be killed, just to get me to come long. And it was primal urges that let you take my lane up on the farm and happened to put you in touch with me in the first place. Had Ann kept her hands to herself we might have never met.” I laughed and went on. “And what if you were wrong and it wasn’t fate, but instead destiny , you have already had one wreck on your first attempt at going out there and now you want to take me along this time so we can have a bigger wreck since you upped the ante. Wow, what friends are you?” And I kept laughing but after a pause I continued.

    “Ann and Lee I would do as a friend whatever you want me to if you asked me except bury someone when dropping them in the river is much easier. Enough weight and you won’t see them anymore, but again I digress,” and as I looked at their surprise and I chuckled to myself, and then went on, “yes, I will go , but what about the dogs?” I asked.

     Ann said, “No problem, and do you know of a kennel I could leave them at.”

    I said, “No but I did know of a farm, and a young couple who had watched Babe before and I am sure Susie would be no problem if we can paid them a little and they will take good care.”

    “Well then it is settled.” Ann said.

    “I said some things I don’t know if I can afford and that is including my share, but I would be more than happy to be your security man and stay and watch the Road Warrior and drive if you like. I will just play chauffeur for you, and enjoy the ride.” I said. And then as I occasionally do I went on again, then said, “I am a man of modest means I make enough and have a small nest egg and really like my life as I have it. Guess I am getting set in my ways. I just don’t want to do something that will cause me more harm down the road. That was the reason I said no the first time around. Now it is a little different as obviously Lee is in a bad way with the leg and if you took your time it might be good therapy to get started and see some different areas and enjoy yourself in your new camper as we head out West. Sounds good to come along and help.”

    Ann said. “Guy don’t you worry about a thing in fact I can pay you to drive.”

    I said. “No Ann that wasn't what I meant.”

    “Then I will cover all your expenses.” She said before giving me a chance to finish what I was saying as if she knew exactly what I meant and was just trying to grease the wheel. But Ann sensed it wasn't going to happen with me and just offered what she knew I would accept for what it was and then she continued. “It was, and it wasn’t your idea to see the Sequoias in the first place, now this is your chance.”

    I said. “I know and I am grateful and will pay as I go, and that if I can’t then I will tell you both as we go along.”

    She said.” Fine Lee and I want you to come along and enjoy yourself, you deserve it.”

    “Alright Ann, I will and now I must head to bed as you caught me snoozing earlier and while I am in the moment, I would like to keep on with that feeling till morning if you don’t mind.” I said.

    Lee said. “No we don’t mind and Guy ‘Thanks for being my friend’.” As he sang laughingly in his best Toby Keith imitation.

      I laughed and said, “Keep that shit up and it won’t happen long.” And I laughed as me and babe headed inside. Susie stayed with Ann and Lee and was going to enjoy a night in the Road Warrior as my little house seemed so small. I guess I could have learned a few things from the  RV designers when I put my little house together. Oh well everyone likes it and my place.  I live comfortable and have plenty of friends, and have something to see, like the beauty of the river behind and my place, with all my landscaping and statues.  

    Still would have traded all of it in for someone in my life. It pains me at time to see Ann and Lee so happy together and wonder still what it was that forced Leann and me apart when I thought we might be on to a really great love. What, what was it. Maybe her failure to commit and my pressure for a relationship to last that I am truly sorry for when all it was that I just wanted someone to call my own. To make her the top priority in my life as we share the rest of our life together as Ann and Lee does. I felt we were at both the same station in life, meaning our paths crossed at this point in life, and sometimes I feel people are meant for each other to support their weaknesses and help with the flaws one gets along the way. I just wanted us to channel our love in the direction of a positive influence on us both making us both feel whole. At times like this , she may have wanted to in part, but in reality she really couldn't commit. The feelings or love wasn't equal.  Leann never wanted to commit and was afraid that if she stayed with me she would lose who she was. She always kept telling me from the start of her failed relationships , and I guess I wasn't any different.  I didn't care about what she did as long as she did it with me. I have been lonely to long and really don’t know how much life I have left as no one does, I just really don’t care to spend what time I have left alone. I tried looking on the internet to try and find someone else, but still feel have to many feelings for Leann to move on. This is something I need to do. And maybe with this trip I will have a chance to move on.

    By this time I was in bed and thinking all the way, through getting undressed and taking some pills for the pain in my back that is consistently there. And I was still wondering about what I was going to take and what I needed to do. My mind stirred till I flushed the toilet as I like to think and just drained everything away into nothingness as I slipped off to sleep.