Ch.38(cont.)
“Well what do you think we should do Darla?”
I asked her. As we looked at the smoke, we could see down the road and it was
also smoky but it appeared to be clear enough to continue driving. Although we
saw no traffic coming in the opposite direction.
Darla says to me. “I don’t know the whole thing kind of scares me.
Maybe we should turn around and head back north and try to find another way
around.”
“The problem is I have the jeep on the
rear of this thing and turning around on this road is not as easy as it sounds.
I think we should just go ahead, we can always unhook the jeep and turn around
later if we have to” I said.
“I don’t know about this guy but you have
more experience than me in these matters so I will leave it up to you.”
I slipped the Road Warrior into gear and
eased forward into the smoke, and it wasn’t too bad at first. We drove for
almost fifteen minutes in a slight haze, still not seeing any other vehicles except
us on the road. Then the haze became more dense and seeing was getting harder and
it appeared to have sparks mixed into the foggy smoke as it began to make its
way into the air conditioning and was now filling up the inside of the Road Warrior
with smoke also, and was making breathing in the Road Warrior harder all the
time.
I
said to Darla. “You had better go grab a towel and put it over you face to try
and avoid breathing so much of this smoke.”
Darla asked. “Can we go back?”
I said. “I don’t know how long I would last
out there in that pea soup if I were to get out and cut the jeep free so we can
turn around. Sorry Darla but I believe
the best way now is straight ahead.” I looked in the rear view mirror and the
monitor and could see the ragtop of the jeep smoking as embers had landed on
the ragtop and started burning. I could also see the plastic trim on the side
of the Road Warrior starting to smoke and burn as the heat from the smoke and
embers was causing things to burn up.
Then all of a sudden a tongue of orange flame
flashed across the road as I looked out from the side window of the road
warrior and could see the pavement was actually on fire and burning and then when I looked at the rear of the Road Warrior
again I could see the tires smoking on the rear of the beast. I didn’t want to tell
Darla as she was sitting there with this towel wrapped around her face not knowing
whether to shit or go blind, and I figured the extra news was not going to help
anything. So I just pressed on looking for clues as to where the road was at
this point as the smoke and embers became worse by the second. Another blast of
orange fire streaked across the front of the Road Warrior and I was blinded as
I drove through a wall of flames. I came
out finally on the other side of the road left of center and heading for a turn
in the road as the visibility increased. I straightened the Road Warrior out
and I could now see we were through the worse or were we?
As I looked in the rear view and I could
see the rear tires were on fire on the Road Warrior and a quick glance at the
rear view monitor showed the jeep to be on fire also as the ragtop was burning
pretty good at this point. I sped up hoping it would put out the flames and to
get us away from that area where it was burning.
“Darla there is a fire extinguisher in the
closet grab it for me please.”
Darla asked. “Why?” as she was unaware of the
fire in the rear of the Road Warrior.
“I think we have a fire on the jeep for
sure and not quite sure but the Road Warrior might be on fire also.”
“What?” Darla screamed and then said. “Oh
my god.” Then she ran to the back of the Road Warrior and screamed again and
yelled from the rear. “ It is on fire. What are we going to do? Stop Guy! Right
now.”
I
said to Darla. “Calm down if I stop, the flames will get larger. I need that
fire extinguisher so I can jump out and hit as quick as I stop, and I want you
to grab what you can and make sure you have your phone. I will try and put out
the fire and you call 911 and we will go from there.”
Darla rushed to the closet and grabbed the
fire extinguisher and sat it beside me and then ran and grabbed her cell and Ann’s
laptop and my cell also, as I slowed the burning Road Warrior to a stop and I
immediately jumped out the door with the fire extinguisher and ran around the
side of the RV. I grabbed the pin on the fire extinguisher and pointed it at
the base of the fire as I read the directions and pulled the trigger and in no
time enveloped myself with the white spray of fire extinguisher fluid as I had
it turned in the wrong direction, and had the nozzle pointed towards me. I
looked like a frigging keystone cop standing there. I couldn’t see and spit fire extinguisher
fluid out of my mouth and eyes as it coated me good, and then I caught sight of
Darla on the other side of the road almost doubled over laughing, and then I
turned it around and then hit the trigger again and started putting the flames
leaping up the side of the Road Warrior out, as the burning tires finally went
to a deep choking smoke . I looked at the rear of the Road Warrior and
something was burning underneath there, and fluid was pouring out from beneath
the vehicle as I sought out the source of trouble, flames leapt out from
underneath the Road Warrior . I emptied the fire extinguisher on this fire and
then tried to put the jeep out but was out of fire extinguisher fluid by this
time. I ran back inside and was looking for something to smother the flames and
remembered Darla’s flannel pajamas with footies and then grabbed them out the
hamper and threw them in the sink to wet them down. There was no water. I
looked out the rear window and the jeep top was burning pretty good , so I
looked around to find another water source and thought of the toilet and dunked
Darla’s flannel pajamas with footies in
the toilet bowl and wet them with a toilet flush. They were soaked as I drug
the wet mess of slinging toilet water across the inside of the Road Warrior and
out the door to the burning jeep in the rear and started wailing at the burning
ragtop of the jeep finally beating the flames down with the pajamas ripe with
toilet water, and soon it was just a smoldering mess along with the Road Warrior
sitting there alongside the road.
I looked at Darla and she was still
standing at the side of the road and realizing that most of the danger had
passed, headed in my direction when the two rear tires on the rear of the Road Warrior
on the same side blew out at the same time, creating a large blast sending
hunks of smoldering rubber in all directions from the fire damage and the Road
Warrior kind of slunk to one side.
Smoke was still pouring off the side of
the Road Warrior as its burnt carcass revealed scorch marks as high as the
roof, and plastic trim dangling from here and there. A hundred and seventy five
thousand dollar RV suddenly turned to a pile of shit.
I yelled at Darla and asked if she was able
to get ahold of the fire department or anyone. She shook her head no and
shrugged her shoulders and waved her phone into the air indicating no service.
I went around the Road Warrior and the jeep
surveying the damage and checking to see if any more fires existed, and finally
I was convinced it was all out. I motioned to Darla it was safe to come over
closer to the Road Warrior and she refused to so I went to her. . She buried
her head in my chest as she said she was so scared. I said it will be all right.
I asked her again. “No luck getting anyone?”
She said no, neither my phone nor hers was
picking up any signal at all.
I asked if she was all right and she said
she was and asked about me as I lifted my hand up with her flannel pajamas in
them with a footie still smoking and the plastic burned half way off and said I
think I have a small burn on this hand. She asked if those were her pajamas.
And I said they were.
“ I needed something to put out the fire.”
Then she came unglued on me . Saying those
were her favorite pajamas and were symbolic of her freedom from her last
marriage as it was the last thing Dave had bought her before he took to
cavorting with the wild women . It became her security blanket as she would
wrap herself in them when he came home at night from drinking and running
around. They offered her protection from his advances as I thought to myself,
wow is she ever getting emotional over these damn things.
I
told her sorry, but I needed something to put the fire out but that didn’t
satisfy her as again she went on about those damn pajamas. I said I was sorry
again and I would replace them.
She says. “You can’t replace memories, Guy damn it. How
in the hell did I end up in this damn place with you.” It was at that point I
was wondering the very same thing. Wishing I would have found anything else but
her damn pajamas to put out that fire.
I told her to get ahold of herself at that
point, and things instead of quieting down escalated as she called me a dumbass
for even driving into the smoke and that I needed to have my head examined as
well her for allowing us to get into that situation in the first part. I
reminded her I didn’t start the fire, but I did put out the flames and she
should be thankful she was standing here with the ability to keep bitching at
me.
Never tell a woman she is bitching. Might as
well poke her with a red hot poker.
She asked me. “Are you calling me a
bitch?”
Having enough of her shit. “I said if the
shoe fits, where it.” (To be cont.)
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